Topic: "I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry"

[AlanS]

My wife stayed hone with both of our kids until they could fend for themselves, then she took a job at a dry cleaners and went to night school for nursing.

In 1976 she graduated, went to work in a hospital as a nurse, changed hospitals, and retired in 2013.

She made me back off when I had our son up on the wall and threatened to beat the crap out of him for one of his many transgressions. His feet were off the floor!

He straightened out and has a good job now, and helps us out when we need things done around the homestead.

Our daughter makes over $130K in her job.

Sounds like you and the wife have done a pretty good job, Coastie.

[oldcoastie6468]

Sounds like you and the wife have done a pretty good job, Coastie.

That was accepting responsibility, which is verboten these days.

[Weisshaupt]

Via Ann Barnhardt.. Feminists are Ugly
copied here in its entirety because its that good and directly addresses the moronic article that is the topic of this thread, and this article as well

Feminists are ugly.
Posted on January 1, 2014    by Dalrock
This is an old charge against feminists, but one which has typically only been considered superficially.  The real reason feminists are ugly has nothing to do with their physical appearance.  Feminists are ugly because they are miserly with love.

One of the effects of feminism is that men of my generation have had a much wider opportunity to cook.  I can’t think of any men my age or younger who don’t know how to cook.  Moreover, I can’t think of any men of my generation or younger who don’t enjoy cooking.  This is in stark contrast to the women of the same generations, who (typically) view cooking as an indignity.  The reason for the difference in attitude boils down to what cooking is all about.  Cooking is an act of love, an act of service to others.  It is an opportunity to care for others in a very fundamental way, to literally nourish them through the work of your own hands.  This is precisely what troubles the modern woman so much about cooking (or cleaning, or changing diapers).  Serving others in the mind of a feminist is an indignity, so cooking, cleaning, or any other act of service and love is the object of revulsion.  Women now actually compete to show off their miserliness in caring for others, each trying to outdo the rest in proving they are the greatest scrooge with love.  It has gone so far that large numbers of women are quite proud of the fact that they have never learned to cook or otherwise care for others.   Their miserliness is a badge of honor.  Not all women have adopted this extremely ugly worldview, but the ones who are going against the grain of the culture here understand better than anyone how uncommon their loving and caring attitudes really are today.

The ugliness of the feminist mind-frame towards cooking, cleaning, and caring for others is so profound that it is difficult to process.  These women are so obsessed with not showing Christian love that they make it a priority not to serve their own families.  Cooking, cleaning, and caring for their own husbands and children is a concept which is repulsive to them.  Acts of service to others are in their twisted minds traps to be avoided, and many go so far as to order their entire lives around avoiding showing love to others, especially their families.  These women are so gripped by miserliness they have made it a priority not to show love to their own children.  When they find themselves unable to avoid an act of service and love to their families altogether, they first steel their hearts with resentment, turning their hearts to stone to avoid the feelings of selfless love they live in constant terror of developing.

It is important to remember that while these women have avoided love and service to others in an attempt to profit, this does not profit them at all.  The philosophy of the miser is profoundly destructive to the miser themselves.  While we shouldn’t lie about the extreme ugliness in this frame of mind, we should remember that the miser is suffering immensely from their own perverted outlook.  There is also great opportunity here.  While what I’m describing is quite plain to see once you consider it, very few have ever had the opportunity to really examine it.  We can help explain the profound ugliness of a miserly heart, and in doing so (if we are doing it right) we are doing an act of love.

The new year is a time of resolutions, and one resolution I would offer for us all is to truly consider the folly of a miserly heart and not only repent ourselves, but help others to do the same.

May each of you have a happy and blessed new year.

[LadyVirginia]

I often joke that I should have pretended I couldn't cook when I got married! LOL I've spoiled my family. Often when given the choice to go out or stay home they want to stay home and have me cook.    I know a woman who does not cook. She says she doesn't cook and she means it. When ever I've been around them she or her husband was going to go get carry-out or they were going to go to a restaurant. My daughter stayed over at their house and they did eat breakfast in one day (dad went and got donuts) and went out the other. I'm not exaggerating when I say she never cooked. We were around them a lot for about 6 years and often near meal time and they were always getting something from a restaurant.  Frankly, I enjoy a good meal out but to have to go out every night to get it would be a hassle.

I'd rather not cook. I don't do it for myself. I do it because I love my family and they like it when I cook. And to help my husband by keeping one part of our budget reasonable.

[Pandora]

A younger lady-friend of ours jokes that she doesn't want any of the small cooking appliances because her family will expect her to use them.



This was the item we were discussing; it's a crockpot cooker/server that can be connected to others like it (or not) for buffet-style serving.

[oldcoastie6468]

I'd rather not cook. I don't do it for myself. I do it because I love my family and they like it when I cook. And to help my husband by keeping one part of our budget reasonable.

We're gonna be real fancy tonight. We'll labor over a frozen pizza.

[Weisshaupt]

I think you all miss the point..  a lot of people don't enjoy doing the cooking, doing the laundry, vacuuming the floors, or one of the other myriad tasks that needs to be done in the modern household..  but the point is that doing these tasks is so looked down upon that even those who do them out of love are seen as menial servants, instead of celebrated for the selfless act  of love that motivates them.   Our society is so broken that cooking a meal for your own family is somehow seen as degrading, and an entire generation (of women especially) are convinced that doing such tasks lowers their value - because a woman's real value is in her looks and in her (independant not involving Housework) Career.  This is why women are leaving their husbands in their 40's and 50's to find themselves - and why Men are finding no one worth  the risk of marriage and therefor just giving up.

As Ann Calls it - its a poison - poisoning all of our relationships. Seeping through the walls...

[Pandora]

No, Weisshaupt, we don't miss the point at all.  We've moved beyond it.

I personally don't give a rat's ass whether or not "society" values my ability to clean better than anybody I know or considers it menial and degrading.  Or that I cook even when I don't friggin feel like it.

For all the trash-talk aimed at women like me, there is a market for such "skills" among those who consider themselves above such tasks.

The three weeks I was in NJ at my parents' house was spent doing a lot of cleaning.  Mom likes it clean, she just has no interest in doing it, never really did.  And, yes, I grumbled some at first, until I was reminded that such service to another is one way of serving Christ, so that put an end to the grumbling.

[oldcoastie6468]

You are a fine person, Pan. And so are other ladies here.

[LadyVirginia]

No, Weisshaupt, we don't miss the point at all.  We've moved beyond it.

I personally don't give a rat's ass whether or not "society" values my ability to clean better than anybody I know or considers it menial and degrading.  Or that I cook even when I don't friggin feel like it.

***

...that such service to another is one way of serving Christ,

 

A few years ago I said to my oldest "I don't like cooking". She was shocked and wasn't sure what to say. Her reaction was almost "but I thought you loved it because you love us!"   I explained I do it because I love you and want to provide the best for you.

It's not just feminists who look down on women staying home. It's men too. They like the double income of a working wife.

[oldcoastie6468]

LadyV, for our entire marriage - almost 50 years now - I never cared whether my wife worked or didn't work. Sure, the extra money really helped, but we were never destitute, nor did we ever live beyond our means.

[Pandora]

You are a fine person, Pan. And so are other ladies here.

 

[LadyVirginia]

LadyV, for our entire marriage - almost 50 years now - I never cared whether my wife worked or didn't work. Sure, the extra money really helped, but we were never destitute, nor did we ever live beyond our means.

I've had women cry on my shoulder because their husbands told them they had to go back to work after having kids.

[AlanS]

And, yes, I grumbled some at first, until I was reminded that such service to another is one way of serving Christ, so that put an end to the grumbling.

Not to mention payback for your mother having to clean up after you as a little tyke.

You're a great person, Pan. Gunsmith is a lucky man.

[Glock32]

LadyV, for our entire marriage - almost 50 years now - I never cared whether my wife worked or didn't work. Sure, the extra money really helped, but we were never destitute, nor did we ever live beyond our means.

I've had women cry on my shoulder because their husbands told them they had to go back to work after having kids.

From my perspective, there's nothing more natural than a mother wanting to be....a mother. The whole phenomenon of kids being "raised" by school and daycare centers is a big piece of the puzzle when it comes to our social and cultural ills, if you ask me.

I often wonder about the whole two-income household thing. Before the 70s, it was pretty much the norm for a husband to be the breadwinner with a full time job and the wife to take care of things at home. Somehow families managed to get by like this, usually with their own home, a car, etc. What changed? Why is it so many households (seemingly) require two incomes now? Is it just materialism -- the McMansion, 2-3 cars, expensive vacations -- or is it that our purchasing power today is less than it was back then?

My siblings and I never had to be daycare babies. Mom was there when we got home from school. I think it makes a big difference in a child's development.

[oldcoastie6468]

From my perspective, there's nothing more natural than a mother wanting to be....a mother. The whole phenomenon of kids being "raised" by school and daycare centers is a big piece of the puzzle when it comes to our social and cultural ills, if you ask me. You are correct. No parental contact = no guidance in what's right and wrong.

I often wonder about the whole two-income household thing. Before the 70s, it was pretty much the norm for a husband to be the breadwinner with a full time job and the wife to take care of things at home. Somehow families managed to get by like this, usually with their own home, a car, etc. What changed? Why is it so many households (seemingly) require two incomes now? Is it just materialism -- the McMansion, 2-3 cars, expensive vacations -- or is it that our purchasing power today is less than it was back then? I think it was and still is womens' lib. Gloria Steinem and all that crap.

My siblings and I never had to be daycare babies. Mom was there when we got home from school. I think it makes a big difference in a child's development. Same here.

[LadyVirginia]

My daughter the historian tells me that women have always worked but it was for primarily for economic reasons. The obits for the old ladies at my church prove this out. They came over from the old country and to supplement their income they took in laundry, or mending or worked at the local grocery store.  But they were always there for their kids. They weren't working 12 hour days or going out of town for work and mostly they cared for their kids when they weren't in school. My own family history is replete with women who worked.  The view that women didn't work was colored by the flood of middle to upper-middle class women who poured into the marketplace during WWII. Those were the women who hadn't worked before. Poor women had always worked.

Now the view is you work to showcase your value to society. I used to go to a mom/baby group when my oldest was little. There were moms who lamented not getting that visible reward that work gives you for a job well done (raise, promotion, etc). I didn't get it. Who wants that when you look across the table at night during dinner and see your HAPPY, CALM and RELAXED family.

Why do moms need to work now. One, they're single mothers. Two, they got married and live on 2 incomes assuming that the woman would want to work after the kids. No one knows what delayed gratification is. We used to save up for stuff and now you just go get it. What do people buy for gifts any more? No one waits until their birthday or Christmas for what they want or need.

Two disposable incomes pushes consumerism and the need to keep spending.

[ChrstnHsbndFthr]

Pan is not only heroic, she is also as dangerous as a tigress with cubs...and all you are her cubs, she may smack you, but she keeps loving you.......the enemy is just food at best, but more likely fertilizer.  Here's to Pandora!

[Pandora]

Well ....... thank you, but now y'all are just embarrassing me.  There's nothing heroic about doing what we're supposed to do.

... when you look across the table at night during dinner and see your HAPPY, CALM and RELAXED family.

LV's got it exactly right.

[fordguy_85]

When my wife and I got married, we both had jobs. However, when she became pregnant with our oldest, she and I had several discussions about her going back to work/not going back to work. We both agreed that we would much rather have the both of us raising our child together would naturally be superior to someone else doing the job for us. We now have three children ages 7, 5, and 2 that I am so grateful to see the terrific job she does of mothering them. I am grateful that our financial situation is such that she doesn't have to work, and I feel that our children will be better off for it.

I guess where the train left the station, from my at least somewhat age-limited viewpoint, is when people simply stopped being responsible for their own actions. As a child, the worst possible scenario to get into trouble for was to get caught up in a lie. Not to say there wouldn't be repercussions for the act itself should I have gotten caught, but to lie about it increased the punishment by at least an order of magnitude . That's one thing taught me the value of personal responsibility, and it's a crying shame there isn't a class for it at one of your local government indoctrination camps.