Genesis 47:13-27, The 21st Century version
13 Now there was much less consumer spending in all the land; for the recession was very severe, so that the “land of the much less free” and the “home of the previously brave” languished because of unemployment, layoffs and a cutback in available consumer credit.
14 And Barack gathered up all the money that was found in the land of America and in the land of private business for the government bailouts and programs which they bought; and Barack brought the money into Congress’s house.
15 So when the money ran out in the land of America and private enterprise, all the Americans came to Barack and said, “Give us more programs like healthcare and welfare, for why should we do without or have to take personal responsibility as long as you are President? For the private sector has failed us and does not take from producers and redistribute the wealth.” And the media helped Barack by repeating whatever he wanted said to the land of America.
16 Then Barack said, “Give your freedom and independence to me, and I will give you healthcare, cash for clunkers, stimulus and all manners of government handouts, for the will to make your own money and provide for yourself is gone.”
17 So they brought their freedom and gave up their personal responsibility to Barack, and Barack gave them government checks, welfare credit cards and many new government programs in exchange for the productivity, freedom, security, independence, individualism and most of their income because of the new taxes needed for government. Thus Barack gave them everything they needed in life, from healthcare to food to jobs, in exchange for all their freedom and independence.
18 When the recession did not end and became even worse, the people came to Barack and said to him, “We will not hide from our lord that our money is gone; and our lord also has our possessions to which are now leveraged for taxes and bad credit. There is nothing left in the sight of my lord but our bodies and our private property.
19 Why should we continue to live a lower lifestyle before your eyes, both we and our land? We will trade our very lives and private property in exchange for government protection, security, jobs and healthcare. Take our lives and private property for guaranteed food and health, and we and our land will be slaves to Barack; give us government care, that we may live and not die, that the people may not have to be responsible for their own destiny.”
20 Then Barack bought all the land for Congress; for every man of America sold his freedom, because the liberal media propaganda and elitist academic indoctrination was severe upon them. So the land became the Governments.
21 And as for the people, Barack set up Government programs and monitoring to control them, from one end of the borders of America to the other end.
22 Only the land of the trial lawyers, teachers unions and labor unions he did not control; for the lawyers and unions had given the money to get Barack elected, and Barack would do nothing to risk losing their election contributions and votes. Thus no law or program was passed to reform lawyers, teachers or unions, instead, many new laws and programs were created to protect and benefit them.
23 Then Barack said to the people, “Indeed I have bought you into Government servitude and your freedom this day belongs to Congress and Government. Look, here are your benefits, your healthcare and your government jobs. Isn’t America great now?
24 And it shall come to pass when you make any income for yourself that you shall give 80% to Government. Twenty percent shall be your own, for you to spend on yourself but even then you will pay sales taxes, property taxes, embedded taxes and be required to purchase what we tell you to purchase at the prices we tell you it will cost, and you will pay for Government permits, licenses and fees for many of the things you do… both you, your household and the generations to come.”
25 So the people said and the liberal Democrat controlled media reported, “Barack has saved our lives; let us find favor in the sight of our lord Barack, and we will be Government servants because we no longer have to worry about taking care of our own lives.”
26 And Barack made it a law over the land of America to this day, that the Government should have 80% of all income, except for the liberal special interest groups, which got many tax breaks and exceptions to ensure they voted Democrat in the next election.
27 So America was no longer land of the free, but land of the Government; and the Government slowly took control of all possessions and grew and multiplied exceedingly.
