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RETIRE WHERE???? Here are your choices:

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John Florida:
You  can retire to Phoenix , Arizona  where...             
1.  You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.             
2.  You've experienced condensation on your ass from the hot water in the toilet bowl.           
3.  You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.             
4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.             
5.  You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what  hits you in the face when you open your oven  door.             
6.  The 4 seasons are:  tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!             
           
OR           
You  can retire to California  where...             
1.  You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford  to buy a house.             
2.  The fastest part of your commute is going down  your driveway.             
3.  You know how to eat an artichoke..             
4.  You drive your rented Mercedes to your  neighborhood block party.             
5.  When someone asks you how far something is, you  tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.           
6.  The 4 seasons are:  Fire,  Flood, Mud, and Drought.   

OR           
You  can retire to New York City  where...             
1.  You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you  mean Manhattan .             
2.  You can get into a four-hour argument about how to  get from Columbus  Circle  to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a  map.             
3.  You think Central Park is  "nature."             
4.  You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you  multi-lingual.             
5.  You've worn out a car horn. (ed. note if you have  a car).           
6.  You think eye contact is an act  of aggression.           

OR           
You  can retire to Maine  where...             
1.  You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup,  and Tabasco .           
2.  Halloween costumes fit over parkas.             
3.  You have more than one recipe for moose.             
4.  Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.             
5.  The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.             

OR           
You  can retire to the Deep South  where...             
1.  You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same  store.             
2.  "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is  plural.           
3.  "He needed killin" is a valid defense.             
4.  Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob,  Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.           
5.  Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder."  It's important to know the difference, too.             
           
OR           
You  can retire to Colorado  where...             
1. You  carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500  car.           
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.             
3. A pass does not involve a football or  dating.             
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a  pony tail.             

OR           
You  can retire to the Midwest  where...             
1.  You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor  knows your name.             
2.  Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to  pass a tractor.             
3.  You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the  same day.             
4.  You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"             
5.  When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"             

OR                   
FINALLY  You can retire to Florida  where.           
1.  You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.             
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind --  even houses and cars.             
3.  Everyone can recommend an excellent  dermatologist.             
4.  Road construction never ends anywhere in the  state.             
5.  Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by  headless people.           

SO  MANY CHOICES  !!!

LadyVirginia:
 ::rolllaughing:: ::rolllaughing:: ::rolllaughing::

charlesoakwood:
 
::thumbsup::

Libertas:
Retire?  What's that?

 :P

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