Since our first experiment in representative republican government has failed I think the time is right to stop abusing our Founders and get them off of things connected to this current government that has nothing to do with their ideals. I think it is time we take them back and let them honor their true heroes openly and honestly.
First up, money. Get everybody off, put on whoever.
If I may suggest, the current state of the nation might want to print notes and mint coins along these lines:
$100 - Satan. Makes sense, right?
$50 - Saul Allinsky, even he credited Satan as his inspiration and nary a Prog missed an opportunity to learn from Saul.
$20 - Wilson, the first real Prog who set the stage for all subsequent Progs.
$10 - FDR, he really led Progs into their Golden Age, made BigGov something to admire.
$5 - LBJ, he showed the path to the future - piss away money like never before and as long as your stupid free-sh*t base clamors for it and votes for you all is swell, set the stage for the next level - crony capitalism destroying legitimate capitalism,
$1 - The Clinton's, they popularized cronyism like nobody else, made it possible for an illegitimate POS like Obama to come along and put the ride into the sh*tter in hyperdrive.
$1 Coin - Obama, why not? The biggest coin made out of the most useless base metal...it takes up too much room, doesn't work in vending machines and everyone will hate getting stuck with one. Perfect.
$0.50 - Cloward/Piven, put one asshole on one side, the other asshole on the other, no matter how you flip it you always get an asshole.
$0.25 - Sanger, that crazy genocidal racist proglodyte bitch is probably responsible for killing one quarter of our potential population, so a quarter makes perfect sense.
$0.10 - Sharpton, who wouldn't like to drop dime with one of the most successful class/race warfare pimping shakedown SOB's to touch the Earth?
$0.05 - Krugman, that Neo-Keynesian cheerwhore should be on something that is both close to forgotten and could be used in certain shotgun barrels as emergency projectiles. Who wouldn't get off on pumping Krugmans into some asshat?
$0.01 - This is a toughie, something so useless and so pointless should go to someone equally useless and pointless, but the candidates are never ending. I considered Barney Fag, Sandra Fluke, crap like that...I guess it doesn't matter. Maybe go with a douche-of-the-day and surprise people, whatever, I don't give a crap. Just as long as none of our Founders and good folk are no longer sullied by being connected to this decaying corpse!!!
