Author Topic: A Little Levity --  (Read 8311 times)

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Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #20 on: December 08, 2015, 08:10:47 AM »
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out - what I'm doing ..... ::exitstageleft::
All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Offline Libertas

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #21 on: December 21, 2015, 09:23:13 AM »
Heh, check this out -

So Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that Trump and Cruz sitting over there?' The bartender says, 'Yep, that's them.'

So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?'

Cruz says, 'We're planning WW III.' The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'

Trump says, 'Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with a big chest.

The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with a big chest? Why kill her?'

Trump turns to Cruz and says, 'See, I told you, no one gives a crap about the 140 million Muslims.’


H/T - PeoplesCube - http://www.thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/wwiii-started-over-tits-t17335.html

 ::hysterical::
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #22 on: December 21, 2015, 12:53:28 PM »
All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Online Pandora

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #23 on: December 21, 2015, 05:03:19 PM »
Hah.
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #24 on: December 24, 2015, 07:34:22 AM »
Hah.

Well PANDORA; Maybe this is more to your liking    ::praying:: -----

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men,
                             V
                             V
                             V
                             V
                 who mention it !!!!!!
All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Offline Libertas

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #25 on: December 24, 2015, 02:54:20 PM »
Wife - "Do these jeans make my ass look fat?"

Husband wanting the sweet release of death - "No.  Your fat ass makes your ass look fat."

 ::hysterical::
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #26 on: December 29, 2015, 05:06:23 PM »
Important facts to remember as you grow old...

1. Death is the number one killer in the world.
2. Life is sexually transmitted.
3. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
4. Give a person a fish and you feed thme for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they
       won't bother you for weeks, maybe months, or even maybe years.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
6. All of us could take a lesson from the weather, it pays no attention to criticism.
7. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is weird, and people
       take Prozak to make it normal.
and finally;

8. Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last long....
All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #27 on: December 29, 2015, 05:34:45 PM »
More truth than levity in this but what the h*ll  ---

Campaign Slogans for Hilldillary;

1.   The bi*ch is back..
2.   Clintons are forever ...
3.   Your long national nightmare is NOT OVER ...
4.   It's MOURNing again in America ...
5.   Have it HER way ...
6.   Reach out and tax someone ...
7.   For that hard to reach income ...
8.   Help eradicate capitalism ...
9.   Likeability isn't everything ...
10. President Clinton "2" - this time with pants ...

I think #'s 3 / 4 / and 9 -  should be mandatory for ALL of her appearances .....


All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Offline Libertas

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #28 on: December 30, 2015, 08:26:09 AM »
Only your Hitlery post can make the death posting more desirable!
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #29 on: December 30, 2015, 08:42:51 AM »
Only your Hitlery post can make the death posting more desirable!


The meeting of the 'Gray Matter' ?  Or doesn't it Matter? ::thinking:: ::oldman::
All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #30 on: December 31, 2015, 08:13:35 AM »


All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Offline Alphabet Soup

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #31 on: December 31, 2015, 10:10:59 AM »
I don't know where you found that first one Rusty but I am so stealing it!

Offline Libertas

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #32 on: January 03, 2016, 06:55:42 PM »
Putin would never allow it.  We will have to sweeten the deal!
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #33 on: January 05, 2016, 05:15:44 AM »
For the 'older' generation; Combinations that do not go together ---

1.   A nose ring and bifocals
2.   Spiked hair and a bald spot
3.   A pierced tongue and dentures
4.   Mini skirts and support hose
5.   Speedo's and cellulite
6.   Ankel bracelets a nd cornpads
7.   Unbuttoned shirts and a heart monitor
8.   Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
9.   Bikinis and liver spots
10. Short shorts and varicose vains
11. In-line skates and a walker
12. Thongs and Depends
All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #34 on: January 05, 2016, 05:38:40 AM »




All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Offline Libertas

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #35 on: January 05, 2016, 07:32:39 AM »
For the 'older' generation; Combinations that do not go together ---

1.   A nose ring and bifocals
2.   Spiked hair and a bald spot
3.   A pierced tongue and dentures
4.   Mini skirts and support hose
5.   Speedo's and cellulite
6.   Ankel bracelets a nd cornpads
7.   Unbuttoned shirts and a heart monitor
8.   Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
9.   Bikinis and liver spots
10. Short shorts and varicose vains
11. In-line skates and a walker
12. Thongs and Depends

13.  Progs and honesty, morality, wisdom and virtues
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline rustybayonet

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #36 on: January 07, 2016, 06:51:20 PM »




All gave some -- Some gave all    Humbled to be one of the 33 original members of the Coast Guard Honor Guard, started in 1962.
 Today is the Tomorrow, we worried about Yesterday

Offline John Florida

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #37 on: January 07, 2016, 07:45:06 PM »


  H/T Grouchies
All men are created equal"
 Filippo Mazzie

Offline Libertas

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #38 on: January 08, 2016, 06:19:27 AM »
 ::rolllaughing::
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Online ToddF

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Re: A Little Levity --
« Reply #39 on: January 12, 2016, 09:45:22 AM »
Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go to Hell.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them “Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?

Ole replies, “Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesnoowta, da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance at varm up a little bit, ya know.”

The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from Minnesota , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling walleye and drinking beer.

The devil is astonished and exclaims, “Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?”

Sven replies, “Vell, ya know, ve don’t git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve’ve yust got at haff a fish fry vhen da veather’s dis nice.”

The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.

The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

The devil is dumbfounded, “I don’t understand; when I turn up the heat, you’re happy. Now its freezing cold and you’re still happy. What is wrong with you two?”

They both look at the devil in surprise and say, “Vell, don’t ya know, If hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.”

Uff da!   ::snoshovel::