Some people are born kleptomanics: They like to steal. I would never hate them or treat them badly, and yet they must confront the fact that stealing is wrong despite the fact they were born that way.
Some people are born alcoholics: They like to get drunk. I would never hate them or treat them badly, and yet they must confront the fact that drunkeness is bad despite the fact they were born that way.
A Christian with the proper perspective does not hate gays and believes all discrimiation against them is bad. And yet we must be truthful in saying that it is a disorder, and the act is unatural. (And from a religious point of view the act is also extremely sinful)
People do not like being confronted by uncomfortable truths, but it is much better than letting poeople self-destruct