Author Topic: It was Punday  (Read 449 times)

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Online Pandora

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It was Punday
« on: September 26, 2011, 02:34:58 AM »
Quote
Did you hear about the dyslexic existentialist? He spent his entire life pondering the meaning of dog.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

?Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.??

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.??

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.??

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.??

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.??

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.??

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell???

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.??

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.??

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.??

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.??

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)??

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.??

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.??

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.??

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.??

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.??

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.??

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.??

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.??

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.??

Every calendar's days are numbered.??

A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.??

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.??

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.??

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.??

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.??

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.??

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

?Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Swiped from Mike M.

One I heard a few times as a much younger lady:  "If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Offline Libertas

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Re: It was Punday
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2011, 07:53:59 AM »
"If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"

Yeah, that pickup line doesn't work so much, not anymore anyway...

 ;D
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.