Author Topic: Vampires as Romance  (Read 1923 times)

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Offline Weisshaupt

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Vampires as Romance
« on: December 28, 2011, 07:33:11 PM »
MichelleO is now subjecting me to Vampire Diaries by osmosis. This is after the sparkly vampires saga.
What is it about this that makes it interesting/attractive to women?

I mean really- you are a vampire. You have lived for hundreds of years, but you still have patience to go back to High School for the 103rd time?  Really? Does being a vampire also make you a masochist?  And Hundreds of years?  You should have made investments that have no made you millions.  Hunt for blood?  No, you, the eccentric rich benefactor who started a hospital now has access to as much donated blood as you need. Heck, you could even harvest it from the patients in a coma.  No one dies. No one suspects,  and you don't have to eat rabbit every stinking day.  But no, its more fun dating 17 year old girls and playing with adolescent werewolves? I am only 41, and I suspect dealing with hormone driven rivalrys would simply not interest me.. even less the intellectual stimulation of teenage conversation.  And if your phical interaction is limited to passionate forehead kissing any remaining pedopile like attraction you might have had would be gone.

So again I ask. What. Is. With. Vampire. Romances?

Offline LadyVirginia

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2011, 08:48:05 PM »
Apparently it fills an unmet need.

 ::hysterical:: ::hysterical:: ::hysterical::

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Offline AlanS

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2011, 09:38:33 PM »
Apparently it fills an unmet need.

 ::hysterical:: ::hysterical:: ::hysterical::

 ::exitstageleft::

Ooooooooh. Now you gonna get it. ::rockethrow:: ::hysterical::
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Offline Weisshaupt

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2011, 10:11:42 PM »
Apparently it fills an unmet need.

 ::hysterical:: ::hysterical:: ::hysterical::

 ::exitstageleft::

If it was just my wife, maybe that would be a good explanation. But it seems to affect my wife's friends as well.
Besides, if women have a need of a monster in their lives,  then you are right, I am not one.
Team Jacob? Team Edward?  I am Team "Little geek who asks you to the movies who isn't a drama seeking  monster in any way"  and hopefully my daughter gets that message beffroe she starts dating.

Online Pandora

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2011, 11:10:14 PM »
I can't tell you, Weisshaupt, because I have no clue.  The Vampire Diaries?  With no offense to michelleo intended, a poorly acted, juvenile soap opera.  The Twilight books held a little interest; I've read 'em, but they're not the type of story, sparkly notwithstanding, I intend to keep for re-reading.

The better vampire tales, in my opinion, were written by Anne Rice, about Lestat and his crew, where religion and the meaning of life and er ... non-life ... were explored.

I've seen it written that the current vamp stories are soft porn for women.

I'm not feelin' it.
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Online IronDioPriest

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2011, 02:31:03 AM »
Romance and seduction have been a part of vampire lore forever. In the old tales, rather than willing females falling for cute boy-men vampires, it was a revolting undead creature using dark powers to seduce innocent women, frustratingly beyond their menfolk's ability to interfere. We'd watch the repulsive Legosi fix his gaze on a woman and watch her swoon, reaching "climax" as his fangs penetrated her neck. The audience knew he was a wretched creature, but the woman in film behaved like he was the ultimate lover. It wasn't long before Hollywood began giving those roles to handsome romantic leads though - men like Christopher Lee, or Frank Langella. In "Bram Stoker's Dracula" starring Gary Oldman, Dracula was able to appear as a handsome count in order to seduce, hiding his repulsive true appearance at will.

This "Twilight" thing is just an outgrowth of that. I don't get the appeal of these metroseckshul vampire movies either, but I get where the ideas come from. It's just a twist on the romance novels, using the traditional dark allure of vampirism as the backdrop.

If you wanna see a completely different take on vampires and vampire films, see "Priest". No sparkly vampires or swooning females there.

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Online ToddF

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2011, 09:46:42 AM »
I think it's just the latest flavor of the month, from Harlequin romances.  Last month it was Urban Fantasy, next month it will be Knights and Maidens.

I'm glad my wife is into Korean Drama.  I'm sure it beats cookie cutter vampire/soft porn crap.

Offline michelleo

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2011, 09:50:48 AM »
MichelleO is now subjecting me to Vampire Diaries by osmosis. This is after the sparkly vampires saga.
What is it about this that makes it interesting/attractive to women?

I don't watch tv normally. Is there ANYTHING on right now worth watching really?   I do have unmet needs - the need to turn my brain off every once in awhile to the pending doom that awaits us.  So, yes, while I was up late every night for a week sewing doll accessories for my daughter for Christmas, I saw that Vampire Diaries was available on Netflix.  Since a good friend of mine kept recommending it to me, I decided to have that on in the background while I sewed.  It IS a silly soap opera, but it grew on me.  And I've been watching the other episodes over this Christmas break.

For me it's not so much about the seduction of the vampire (I don't really find the vampire aspect all that appealing), it's about strong deadly men protecting the women that they love.  I'd much rather watch/read a romance starring THIS GUY falling in love and having to fight to protect the woman he loves.  Any suggestions?

Online ToddF

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2011, 10:12:49 AM »
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/49_Days

It's soapish.  Nobody turns out to be gay...or a vampire...or a zombie...the characters are likable.  They incorporate several religious principles into the mix without insulting any of them.  No moronic leftist politics bashing you over the head.

And ya know.  If the price I pay for cuing up the next episode of Star Trek or Farscape or Guys Blowing Things Up is something that carries the tag of 'romantic comedy' this just doesn't get any better.

It's part of the whole Drama Fever experience.  Either a Roku channel or on the PC.

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2011, 10:20:09 AM »
MichelleO is now subjecting me to Vampire Diaries by osmosis. This is after the sparkly vampires saga.
What is it about this that makes it interesting/attractive to women?

I don't watch tv normally. Is there ANYTHING on right now worth watching really?   I do have unmet needs - the need to turn my brain off every once in awhile to the pending doom that awaits us.  So, yes, while I was up late every night for a week sewing doll accessories for my daughter for Christmas, I saw that Vampire Diaries was available on Netflix.  Since a good friend of mine kept recommending it to me, I decided to have that on in the background while I sewed.  It IS a silly soap opera, but it grew on me.  And I've been watching the other episodes over this Christmas break.

I remember the Christmas my Mom did that for my Barbie; she made several outfits including an elaborate bridal gown and veil.  I LOVED them!

And I get the tv as background and the propensity to get sucked in, too, so I hope you weren't offended.  The series was recommended to me by a friend (my age), so I was disappointed to find it was obviously aimed at a teenage audience.

Quote
For me it's not so much about the seduction of the vampire (I don't really find the vampire aspect all that appealing), it's about strong deadly men protecting the women that they love.  I'd much rather watch/read a romance starring THIS GUY falling in love and having to fight to protect the woman he loves.  Any suggestions?

"Repairman Jack" novels (by F. Paul Wilson) is what I can come up with off the top of my head; a tad occulty, too.

eta:  http://www.amazon.com/Bloodline-Repairman-Jack-Novel-Novels/dp/0765317060
« Last Edit: December 29, 2011, 10:34:16 AM by Pandora »
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Offline trapeze

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2011, 10:22:40 AM »
I will weigh in on this issue later today when I have some time. It irritates me on several different levels.
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Offline Libertas

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2011, 10:33:56 AM »
Hey, I like nibbling on a ladies neck too, but I draw the line at drawing blood!
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Offline michelleo

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2011, 10:51:11 AM »
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/49_Days


Quote from: Pandora


"Repairman Jack" novels (by F. Paul Wilson) is what I can come up with off the top of my head; a tad occulty, too.

eta:  http://www.amazon.com/Bloodline-Repairman-Jack-Novel-Novels/dp/0765317060

Thanks for the tips!

Offline trapeze

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2011, 03:06:22 PM »
My thoughts on the thoroughly obnoxious "vampires as sex objects" fad. Because I don't care for the genre I haven't seen anything but the one Twilight movie that my spousal unit dragged me to (she owes me big time for that waste of two hours) so I am going to be primarily talking about it rather than the other wannabes.

Several points to consider...

In the Twilight series the protagonist vampire (don't remember his name and don't care) is hanging around a high school pretty much all the time. The guy is a zillion years old. This immediately struck me as the bad kind of creepy. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against vampires being creepy...they suck blood and kill people, they are supposed to be creepy...but not on the level of borderline pedophilia. Old guys stalking young girls is not the kind of creepy I am interested in for a movie (or book).

There is something wrong with fantasizing about having an intimate relationship with the undead...let's see, what could it be? Oh yeah, it's sort of a necrophilia kind of wish fulfillment thing. Except in this case you don't have to track down a corpse to do the nasty with...in these romantic vampire stories they come to you. Sort of like a pizza delivery only with cold dead horny people instead of pepperoni with extra cheese.

None of these romantic vampire stories follow any of the tried and true vampire mythologies of the past. Garlic? No problem. Holy water? Forget about it. Crosses? They wear them. Mirrors? No way. Sunlight? We get sparkly stuff for reasons that make no sense...no flaming corpses. Now that just isn't right. These romantic vampires seem to have all of the traditional vampire strengths (live forever, super strength, super speed, mind control, eternal beauty...btw, where are the ugly vampires?) without any of the traditional vampire vulnerabilities. These vampires should be multiplying and ruling the earth under these conditions. But they aren't. They just hang around schools and stalk children.

And then there's this whole werewolf thing. What? Vampires aren't interesting enough all by themselves that we have to inject a whole other genre into the story? That's just weak writing and story crafting. Why stop there? Why not introduce all sorts of other fantasy/horror genres into the romantic vampire epic? BUT...since werewolves were introduced they get destroyed, too. These werewolves change back and forth at ridiculous speeds with zero relationship to daylight/night time or what phase the moon is in. I'm guessing that a silver bullet would be pretty much useless against them, too. Oh yeah, and in this universe you don't get bitten and turned into one but rather you are born that way like a kind of seriously messed up on again/off again mental retardation birth defect.

I don't want to psychoanalyze the whole vampire genre because I'm not a psychologist and it's been done to death already BUT...seriously, vampires and romance? How messed up is that? For a lot of vampire stories where "romance" is involved it's kind of a guiltless (responsibility free) sex act...on one level you might even call it sexless rape wish fulfillment. The kind of people that I imagine as fantasizing about BEING a "romantic" vampire are the sorts of people who are perpetually unattractive to the opposite sex and do nothing to improve upon the situation. Yeah, living in their parents' basement, bathe on rare occasions and spend most of their non-working at McDonalds time playing XBox. R*pt*v*o comes immediately to mind. Not that he fits that description but he still reminds me of that type of person. Arrested social development but still full of hormones with nothing to take them out on and zero prospect of situational improvement. So along comes a way for the pimply faced, overweight social outcast to successfully work his will over supermodels and yeah, they see that as pretty appealing. NOW...given that this is typically the type of person who would want to be a "romantic" vampire type of loser what does this say about the person who fantasizes about being ravished by one? Ugh. (Did you throw up in your mouth?)

I used to like the whole vampire genre. It used to be one of the better horror niches in books and movies. Now it's totally f**ked up. Thanks, Stephanie Meyer. Thanks, Anne Rice. The last good book (and sort of good television movie) about vampires was Stephen King's "Salem's Lot." No romance in that one, no way. It was regular people versus the undead and the bloodsuckers pretty much won. I don't care for much of Stephen King's work...it tends to be preachy in a very obnoxious and unsubtle way. I particularly detest the way that he makes the most despicable characters be Christians and Republicans. But he did get the vampire genre right with that book. The television movie was very tame in comparison to the book and should get a serious remake attempt for the big screen someday. But it got all the basics right. It was well thought out and left you with no desire to get cuddly with a vampire. Robert Rodriguez got it mostly right with "From Dusk Till Dawn" except that it went way over the top with the vampires as hookers and sluts thing. But once everyone knew they were dealing with the undead it was all about killing them off as quickly as possible.

Anyway, I just don't get the vampires as sex objects thingy. I can no more comfortably imagine a vampire as a sex object than I can a zombie. Who wants to suck face with a rotting corpse? Don't laugh, though...Stephanie Meyer is probably working on it right now.

In the meantime there's this:

« Last Edit: December 29, 2011, 03:26:15 PM by trapeze »
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Online ToddF

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2011, 03:49:12 PM »
Anther mindless fad.  Let's dumb down Jane Austen for a 21st century audience.  ::facepalm::

Offline Weisshaupt

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #15 on: December 29, 2011, 04:14:10 PM »
My thoughts on the thoroughly obnoxious "vampires as sex objects" fad. Because I don't care for the genre I haven't seen anything but the one Twilight movie that my spousal unit dragged me to (she owes me big time for that waste of two hours) so I am going to be primarily talking about it rather than the other wannabes.

Several points to consider...

In the Twilight series the protagonist vampire (don't remember his name and don't care) is hanging around a high school pretty much all the time. The guy is a zillion years old. This immediately struck me as the bad kind of creepy. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against vampires being creepy...they suck blood and kill people, they are supposed to be creepy...but not on the level of borderline pedophilia. Old guys stalking young girls is not the kind of creepy I am interested in for a movie (or book).

There is something wrong with fantasizing about having an intimate relationship with the undead...let's see, what could it be? Oh yeah, it's sort of a necrophilia kind of wish fulfillment thing. Except in this case you don't have to track down a corpse to do the nasty with...in these romantic vampire stories they come to you. Sort of like a pizza delivery only with cold dead horny people instead of pepperoni with extra cheese.

None of these romantic vampire stories follow any of the tried and true vampire mythologies of the past. Garlic? No problem. Holy water? Forget about it. Crosses? They wear them. Mirrors? No way. Sunlight? We get sparkly stuff for reasons that make no sense...no flaming corpses. Now that just isn't right. These romantic vampires seem to have all of the traditional vampire strengths (live forever, super strength, super speed, mind control, eternal beauty...btw, where are the ugly vampires?) without any of the traditional vampire vulnerabilities. These vampires should be multiplying and ruling the earth under these conditions. But they aren't. They just hang around schools and stalk children.

And then there's this whole werewolf thing. What? Vampires aren't interesting enough all by themselves that we have to inject a whole other genre into the story? That's just weak writing and story crafting. Why stop there? Why not introduce all sorts of other fantasy/horror genres into the romantic vampire epic? BUT...since werewolves were introduced they get destroyed, too. These werewolves change back and forth at ridiculous speeds with zero relationship to daylight/night time or what phase the moon is in. I'm guessing that a silver bullet would be pretty much useless against them, too. Oh yeah, and in this universe you don't get bitten and turned into one but rather you are born that way like a kind of seriously messed up on again/off again mental retardation birth defect.

I don't want to psychoanalyze the whole vampire genre because I'm not a psychologist and it's been done to death already BUT...seriously, vampires and romance? How messed up is that? For a lot of vampire stories where "romance" is involved it's kind of a guiltless (responsibility free) sex act...on one level you might even call it sexless rape wish fulfillment. The kind of people that I imagine as fantasizing about BEING a "romantic" vampire are the sorts of people who are perpetually unattractive to the opposite sex and do nothing to improve upon the situation. Yeah, living in their parents' basement, bathe on rare occasions and spend most of their non-working at McDonalds time playing XBox. R*pt*v*o comes immediately to mind. Not that he fits that description but he still reminds me of that type of person. Arrested social development but still full of hormones with nothing to take them out on and zero prospect of situational improvement. So along comes a way for the pimply faced, overweight social outcast to successfully work his will over supermodels and yeah, they see that as pretty appealing. NOW...given that this is typically the type of person who would want to be a "romantic" vampire type of loser what does this say about the person who fantasizes about being ravished by one? Ugh. (Did you throw up in your mouth?)

I used to like the whole vampire genre. It used to be one of the better horror niches in books and movies. Now it's totally f**ked up. Thanks, Stephanie Meyer. Thanks, Anne Rice. The last good book (and sort of good television movie) about vampires was Stephen King's "Salem's Lot." No romance in that one, no way. It was regular people versus the undead and the bloodsuckers pretty much won. I don't care for much of Stephen King's work...it tends to be preachy in a very obnoxious and unsubtle way. I particularly detest the way that he makes the most despicable characters be Christians and Republicans. But he did get the vampire genre right with that book. The television movie was very tame in comparison to the book and should get a serious remake attempt for the big screen someday. But it got all the basics right. It was well thought out and left you with no desire to get cuddly with a vampire. Robert Rodriguez got it mostly right with "From Dusk Till Dawn" except that it went way over the top with the vampires as hookers and sluts thing. But once everyone knew they were dealing with the undead it was all about killing them off as quickly as possible.

Anyway, I just don't get the vampires as sex objects thingy. I can no more comfortably imagine a vampire as a sex object than I can a zombie. Who wants to suck face with a rotting corpse? Don't laugh, though...Stephanie Meyer is probably working on it right now.

In the meantime there's this:


So its not just me then  ;D

Offline michelleo

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #16 on: December 29, 2011, 05:13:04 PM »
Men have their little quirks, too.

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Offline Alphabet Soup

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2011, 05:33:14 PM »
Well done Trap  ;)

Online Pandora

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2011, 05:54:20 PM »
Well done Trap  ;)

Agreed.

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Offline trapeze

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Re: Vampires as Romance
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2011, 10:45:56 PM »
I've had that rant inside for a while now.

I detest the "emo-boy" (metrosexual) actors in some of today's films but having them feminize the vampire genre is just too much. I guess I should be grateful that they haven't ruined the western genre yet but I'm sure it's coming.
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.