Author Topic: "Heirloom - Notes from an Accidental Tomato-Farmer" by Tim Stark  (Read 943 times)

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Offline michelleo

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Heirloom is a story of a struggling writer in Brooklyn who decided to start 1000 heirloom tomato seedlings in his Brooklyn apartment.  His plan was to reuse a bunch of old windows to make  cold frames on the roof of his rented apartment – a plan foiled by his landlord who didn’t like the idea of windows flying off his roof and into the street in the first bad windstorm.  Already you can get a sense of the author’s rules-don’t-apply-to-me attitude.

Tim spent several years of his youth living on a property, half owned by his parents. The other half-share of the land was owned by another gentleman who they did not get along with. What was supposed to be a “summer home” (agreed to with the other landowner) turned into a year-round home for his family.  A miffed land partner then tried to push them off by trying to convert the property into a sanctuary for feral and abused (and very mean) dogs.  The author talks of his difficulties jumping into the pool, because each time he did, one of the dogs would jump in after him and try and viciously attack him.  Apparently the dog heard “Sic Balls” anytime someone jumped in the pool.  Not being deterred by such blatant attempts to move them off the property, his family continued to live there full-time for many years as the land partner began filing land disputes.

It is on this land (which he did not own and his parents only half-owned, and for years had been dealing with legal disputes over) that the author chose to transplant his tomato seedlings.  The author tilled the soil using a tractor that didn’t belong to him without permission.  He figured it was okay to use the tractor since the owner had passed away.
 
Water became an immediate issue, he had no irrigation.  So he hand-watered each plant for awhile using hose water.  He then ended up buying a truck and water tank and began filling up the truck with water from a nearby river.  Other local farmers were appalled and scolded him, but his attitude remained the same: “Can’t you see I’m doing something noble here?!”

When the tomatoes ripened he recruited every friend and family member he could find to help him harvest tomatoes (for free of course).  He used and abused one particular friend quite a bit.  This Vietnamese friend simply could not tolerate watching thousands of tomatoes wither on the vine because no one could pick them in time.  So each day, taking time off from his regular job, he’d go out to the fields and pick tomatoes 12 hours a day, working himself sick without pay.  This continued everyday until tomato season ended.  The same happened the following year.  When his family back in Vietnam found out what he was doing they forced him to return to Vietnam.  I guess the idea of slaving away in fields without pay was somehow not so noble to them.

Tim would load up his freshly harvested tomatoes and drive them 2 hours into NYC to the Union Station farmer’s market, and sell the tomatoes to many of the leading chefs in the city.

Even with free land, free labor, and free water, Tim barely made any money and relied on his mother for financial assistance. 

One of the more amusing stories is about his battle with a groundhog that raided his greenhouse and devoured his prized microgreens.  Eventually trapping the groundhog, he threw it, trap and all, into a lake to drown.  Tim wrote about it in an article that was published in Gourmet magazine, chronicling how he let down Daniel Boulud who was expecting his microgreens and how he unleashed his wrath on the groundhog.  The hell that rained down on him from fellow liberal Gourmet magazine readers was epic, accusing him of Abu Groundhog scale torture of animals.  Poor Tim is now scarred for life.

In the years to follow he hired white college kids for little pay but they were mostly unreliable.  Finally he just started hiring migrant Hispanic workers.  When 9/11 happened, it drastically cut down on his business and set him back.  A few years after that, his marriage dissolved.   The book ends with Tim pissed off and giving up hope that he’d ever afford his own land for farming near the city.

It’s an amazing story highlighting the worst characteristics of a liberal trying to play the part of a noble farmer.

Offline LadyVirginia

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Re: "Heirloom - Notes from an Accidental Tomato-Farmer" by Tim Stark
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2012, 06:44:06 AM »
And I'm sure the guy doesn't think he bears any responsibility for his sorry life.

Trying to get things for free from people never ends well...
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charlesoakwood

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Re: "Heirloom - Notes from an Accidental Tomato-Farmer" by Tim Stark
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2012, 08:37:33 AM »

Another form of pandering.

Offline AlanS

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Re: "Heirloom - Notes from an Accidental Tomato-Farmer" by Tim Stark
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2012, 04:46:36 PM »
So this idiot wrote a book looking for sympathy?  ::fail::

I'm sure he could have succeeded if only the government would have helped. ::rockethrow::
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Offline trapeze

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Re: "Heirloom - Notes from an Accidental Tomato-Farmer" by Tim Stark
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2012, 08:05:37 PM »
A fool and a thief.

And his foolish friends.

And his dishonest and foolish parents.

Yeah, I'm so amazed it didn't end well for him. Would have been a better read (I'll bet) if it had been written by a right-leaning neighbor who observed and chronicled the ninny's misadventures. Especially if the neighbor was someone who could write like, say, P.J. O'Rourke.

In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

Offline michelleo

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Re: "Heirloom - Notes from an Accidental Tomato-Farmer" by Tim Stark
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2012, 09:10:30 PM »
A fool and a thief.

And his foolish friends.

And his dishonest and foolish parents.

Yeah, I'm so amazed it didn't end well for him. Would have been a better read (I'll bet) if it had been written by a right-leaning neighbor who observed and chronicled the ninny's misadventures. Especially if the neighbor was someone who could write like, say, P.J. O'Rourke.



Indeed.  In fact, the writer goes into depth about the history of "Eckerton", the land he uses for his tomatoes.  It used to be owned by a very hard working black farmer.  As small farmers became squeezed out by large scale farms and as property values near major metro areas rose sharply, this farmer decided to sell his land in exchange for a deal to continue to live on the land and be its groundskeeper, and have rights to harvest hay to cover daily expenses.  While Tim Stark and his deadbeat family lived there, it was this former farmer who picked up after them.  Tim hinted in his stories about the sheer rage this farmer displayed, as if randomly, on occasion.  For instance, when Tim's pool floaties were left lying about to blow into the fields that the black farmer would mow for hay harvest, Tim discovered his pool floaties slashed to threads, presumably run over by the farmer's tractor.  To get even, Tim decided to steal the spark plugs from his tractor.  From then on the farmer would remove the spark plugs after every use.  It was this very same 50 year old, very well-maintained tractor that Tim commandeered for his first tomato transplants - the only thing required to get it operational being a set of spark plugs.

I'd love to hear the story from this farmer's perspective.