Author Topic: Fifteen Fun Facts About Earth Day  (Read 1139 times)

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Offline trapeze

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Fifteen Fun Facts About Earth Day
« on: April 23, 2012, 01:24:57 AM »
From IMAO:

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1) Earth Day was invented by Gaylord Nelson, then a U.S. Senator from Wisconsin, on April 22nd 1970, in an valiant effort to make people spend their time caring about the environment instead of snickering at his first name.

2) Earth Day is celebrated every year on April 22nd, which, coincidentally, is Russian dictator V.I. Lenin’s birthday. Although Lenin was too busy being dead to directly participate in the first Earth Day celebration in 1970, visitors to his tomb that day swear they heard chuckling.

3) An early supporter of the Earth Day movement was “Population Bomb” author Paul Erlich, whose work presciently predicted the widespread famines and food riots that killed millions of Americans during the Reagan years.

4) One of the most popular Earth Day activities is to reduce usage of water – a rare and precious commodity which few living people have seen outside of pictures – of which barely 400 quadrillion gallons currently remain.

5) Most Earth Day functions you will attend put out “recycling bins” to collect plastic water bottles. This reduces waste and pollution by having the containers hauled away separate from the garbage bins by 20-ton diesel trucks that get 3 miles to the gallon.

6) On Earth Day 2005, over 1000 people stood on a Canadian ice floe to spell out the words “Arctic Warming,” which, unfortunately, local polar bears mis-read as “Free Crunchy Meat Snacks.”

7) The EPA offers a free newsletter with handy Earth Day tips such as “Keep appliances in good working order.” Which is completely useless advice as it doesn’t tell you whether to use a fork or a knife to fix your toaster.

8) Some folks enjoy writing “6 word essays” on Earth Day, like “Many nations. One planet. Our home.” Mostly people who portrayed Indians in westerns during the 1950?s.

9) In preparation for Earth Day, teachers are encouraged to help children learn about global warming by periodically poking them with an “alertness stick” during a screening of “An Inconvenient Truth”.

10) One of the biggest crises addressed during the first Earth Day celebrations was ozone depletion. We don’t give a crap about that any more.

11) Sadly, although Earth Day was founded on an ideal of environmental justice, American law schools still hand out very few degrees to spotted owls.

12) On Earth Day 2003, students in the UK set a world record by planting 4100 trees, which were later cut down by men who skip and jump, like to press wild flowers, put on women’s clothing, and hang around in bars.

13) One of the watchwords of Earth Day is “reuse.” If you see a hobo begging for change using an old Slurpee cup, give him a big ‘ol Earth Day hug of thanks.

14) On the first Earth Day in 1970, activists spilled oil on the sidewalk outside the U.S. Department of the Interior to protest against offshore drilling, completely destroying the crab-fishing industry in the DC metro area.

15) The EPA was founded shortly after, and because of, the first Earth Day in 1970. Since its inception, the EPA has saved enough electricity to power 2 million homes by enforcing laws that prevent power plants from creating that electricity.

And because of (or in celebration of, if you prefer) my intense dislike of hippies, here's a bonus:


Poor, stupid hippies. I sure hope they are laying in poison ivy.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2012, 01:28:46 AM by trapeze »
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

Online Pandora

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Re: Fifteen Fun Facts About Earth Day
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2012, 01:37:22 AM »
If I never have to hear or see reference to those stupid people speaking to and crying over trees, it will be too soon for five lifetimes.

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7) The EPA offers a free newsletter with handy Earth Day tips such as “Keep appliances in good working order.” Which is completely useless advice as it doesn’t tell you whether to use a fork or a knife to fix your toaster.

Fotunately for the ignoranti as regards toasters and electricity, there is a new invention, made of hardwood, for fishing one's bread out of today's faultily-made bread-browning devices and it is known as a toaster tong, and so, to the tree-hugging idiots, I say, tongyu.   ::doublebird::
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Online Libertas

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Re: Fifteen Fun Facts About Earth Day
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2012, 07:07:23 AM »
Earth Day.

 ::)

Like the earth gives a   ::cussing::  crap!

 ::mooning::
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Online ToddF

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Re: Fifteen Fun Facts About Earth Day
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2012, 07:29:34 AM »
The problem with tuning out on weekends is that I just done forgot it was Lenin's birthday.

 ::facepalm::


Online Pandora

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Re: Fifteen Fun Facts About Earth Day
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2012, 12:30:03 PM »
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If I never have to hear or see reference to those stupid people speaking to and crying over trees, it will be too soon for five lifetimes.

And damn if Andrew Wilkow (XM Radio) is not playing JUST THE CLIP right now.

 ::gaah::
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"