Author Topic: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread  (Read 600225 times)

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Offline Libertas

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We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline Libertas

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2641 on: December 11, 2018, 12:08:06 PM »
And..., OK, this line is funny...

5. Sometime later, The People-osi's body will be found in an obscure park in Washington DC with two gunshot wounds to the back of the head. It will be deemed a suicide.

http://www.thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/the-plan-as-told-to-me-by-q-t20420.html

...but in the batshyt insane world we live in...it's not like it is impossible, is it?!  And with each capitulation and each creeping increment it only grows more likely...

 ::rockets::
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline Libertas

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2642 on: December 12, 2018, 12:31:08 PM »


 ::laughonfloor::
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline Libertas

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2643 on: December 17, 2018, 11:42:20 AM »
Damn...it's hard picking a winner in this "which one is more hilariously stupid" contest!

Mooch vs Berzerkley...let's get ready to R-U-M-B-L-E!

“I have been at probably every powerful table that you can think of, I have worked at nonprofits, I have been at foundations, I have worked in corporations, served on corporate boards, I have been at G-summits, I have sat in at the U.N.: They are not that smart.”

https://twitchy.com/jacobb-38/2018/12/16/arrogant-much-michelle-obama-delivers-the-word-from-on-high-about-the-intelligence-level-at-powerful-tables/

Ahhh...ahem!  Top of that list would be the little muslim girl you married, right?!   ::hysterical::



https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Delivery-robot-catches-fire-at-UC-Berkeley-13470063.php?utm_campaign=CMS%20Sharing%20Tools%20(Desktop)&utm_source=t.co&utm_medium=referral

Ahhh....hero?   ::laughonfloor::

It's a robot!  Oh, and that thing in San Franfeces too!

 ::rolllaughing::

ETA - Posters at WZ going bonkers on this one!



















So many...heroes...

 :'(

 ::laughonfloor::
« Last Edit: December 17, 2018, 11:51:12 AM by Libertas »
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline John Florida

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2644 on: January 02, 2019, 06:13:42 PM »
All men are created equal"
 Filippo Mazzie

Offline John Florida

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2645 on: January 02, 2019, 06:21:34 PM »
All men are created equal"
 Filippo Mazzie

Offline Libertas

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2646 on: January 03, 2019, 06:44:08 AM »
Heh.  First one is good...second one even better.   :D

Oh, wait..."deported"..."helicoptered" would send a thrill up my leg.   :D :D
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline Libertas

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2647 on: January 03, 2019, 08:04:37 AM »
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline Libertas

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2648 on: January 04, 2019, 12:38:46 PM »


 ::hysterical::
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Online paulh

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2649 on: January 04, 2019, 12:40:50 PM »
That is priceless

Offline John Florida

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2650 on: January 04, 2019, 03:22:11 PM »
  The stupid it burns.    ::gaah::
All men are created equal"
 Filippo Mazzie

Online Pandora

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2651 on: January 04, 2019, 04:32:24 PM »
"It's a period piece!"
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Offline Alphabet Soup

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2652 on: January 04, 2019, 10:14:58 PM »
How, uhm, inconvenient!

Offline John Florida

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2653 on: January 05, 2019, 08:13:14 PM »
All men are created equal"
 Filippo Mazzie

Offline Libertas

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2654 on: January 07, 2019, 12:40:59 PM »


Daniel Trotsky-Greenfield reports from New York:

The United States of America (1787-2018) came to a swift and sudden end last week as the government shut down. The nation which had survived Pearl Harbor, the War of 1812 and Jimmy Carter ceased to exist.

The savage population, which had only been kept in line through a policy of rigorous gun
confiscations, food stamps and lectures on the environment unleashed its pent up rage in a spree of riots, looting and mass murder that had only previously been encountered in Somalia, Russia and a Walmart in downtown Atlanta.

"The government shut down! We can do anything we like," shouted Sam Hasbley of Grassley, Iowa, while tearing the tag off a mattress despite an explicit warning label forbidding such a dangerous course of action. "Tear yours off. The government is shut down. It can't stop you."

Eyewitnesses spoke of further horrors. On a quiet street in suburban Massachusetts, a man brought out a set of highly illegal lawn darts. In Maryland, there were allegations that an entire family had begun digging ditches to collect rainwater runoff. In Alabama, a farmer fed his hogs homegrown lettuce that had been certified by the state, but not by the Federal Trilateral Hog Commission

With the fall of the government, citizen activists took it upon themselves to chronicle the culture of lawlessness. Men heated their homes with coal stoves. Women bought cold medicine without a photo ID. Children went hours without hearing lectures about the environment.

The victims were many.

In Chuckolod County, Colorado, a transgender person was denied access to the Ladies Room. Frantic calls to the Justice Department were forwarded to an answering service in Depar, India, instead of Doneparre City, Indiana. In Brooklyn, New York, an overweight Iraqi woman was unable to obtain a sign language interpreter while waiting on line to collect her free Obamaphone. In Olegon Falls, Florida, the National Museum of Native American Yarn was forced to shut down depriving schoolchildren of an educational experience and three hours throwing bits of yarn at each other.

And there was worse to come.

The entire city of Detroit was seized by the Michigan Militia backed by Canadian air power. The village of Frankfurt, Illinois passed several ordinances in explicit violation of Title MXVIII of the Federal Charter of Approved Fruit Naming Ordinances. North Dakota seceded and declared that it was now the nation of Bismarckia, elected a Kaiser and petitioned to join OPEC.

http://www.thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/gov-t-shuts-down-psychotic-nation-loses-touch-with-reality-t20445.html

An army of Mongols or possibly local residents dressed in Samurai helmets raided the Federal Dried Peach Reserve in Georgia hauling away thousands of tons of dried fruit and tossed them to waiting crowds. The end of food stamps in Mathomat, New Jersey led to an outbreak of cannibalism despite efforts by Planned Parenthood volunteers to bring order to the proceedings by soliciting volunteers to give up their privilege and be fed to the people.

In Massey Hills, Virginia, a gang of politically incorrect sports mascots entered a workplace and implicitly hurt the feelings of several minorities. In Portland, Alaska, attempts to resettle Syrian ISIS members in a town gymnasium led to the refugees instead being eaten by formerly protected wolves.

In Madison, Wisconsin, the entire United Organized Educators and Librarians Union attempted to commit mass suicide on the front lawn of the Madison Center of Union History to protest budget cuts and school closings. Their efforts proved in vain when the gasoline they poured on themselves in a failed attempt at self-immolation turned out to be apple juice.

In Caplow City, Maine, President Gerald Ford, long thought dead and believed to have been buried in Michigan, appeared and declared himself to be the nation's new leader. While some suspect him to be an impostor based on the plastic texture of his mask which has a hastily erased message reading "Impeach Nixon" on the side, the city fathers have chosen to embrace the possibilities offered by Emperor Ford and have set him up in style in a presidential palace on the eight floor of the Caplow Arms Hotel.

In the midst of all this chaos, a weary nation's eyes turn to Washington D.C. But since the shutdown, which also shut off all power, water and press releases to the embattled city, no word has reached the outside world of what is taking place there. The last message was a smoke signal dispatched by Elizabeth Warren from the roof of a burning Capitol Building. An expert in Native American smoke signals decoded it to read, "I told you so. Now we're all doomed."

The only surviving member of the national government outside the dead zone is believed to be Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who floated to safety down the Potomac on a raft made out of the bodies of the other members of the Progressive Caucus.

She has since chosen to communicate only in horrified whispers and Instagram glamor shots.

As the nation descends into chaos, one thing is clear. The government shutdown has once again doomed us all. Just like the last 18 times.

http://sultanknish.blogspot.com/2019/01/government-shuts-down-nation-descends.html

 ::laughonfloor::

We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline Weisshaupt

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2655 on: January 07, 2019, 09:47:00 PM »
Actual Quote from my mother


Quote
Anyone attempting to enter the country for the purpose of staying permanently to work are illegal.  That does not mean they have committed crimes.

Online Pandora

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2656 on: January 08, 2019, 03:41:14 AM »
Actual Quote from my mother


Quote
Anyone attempting to enter the country for the purpose of staying permanently to work are illegal.  That does not mean they have committed crimes.

With all due respect, your mother's a lunatic.  But you knew that ..........
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Offline Libertas

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2657 on: January 08, 2019, 07:47:30 AM »
I'll bet she thinks Occluded-Cortex is POTUS material...

 ::unknowncomic::
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline Libertas

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2658 on: January 09, 2019, 12:05:58 PM »
Damn...watching scum get hurt...

http://en.brinkwire.com/news/5-militants-killed-in-blast-in-southern-afghanistan/

...it never gets old!







 ::whoohoo::
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline John Florida

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Re: The "I Saw This Funny Thing On The Net" Thread
« Reply #2659 on: January 09, 2019, 05:42:14 PM »
  You have to love it.
All men are created equal"
 Filippo Mazzie