Author Topic: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!  (Read 2833 times)

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Online Pandora

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Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« on: May 30, 2012, 10:12:05 PM »
Tonight, as I was dishing up the pork chops, the glass bowl of green beans in butter with garlic slipped its cover and Gunsmith's finger tips and smashed all over the wood kitchen floor.

*sigh*

So, I transferred the chops from plates back to the covered dish and we cleaned up.  Butter does not comes easily off a wood floor and the smash damages the floor to boot.  What a mess.  Beans, butter and glass all over the rug, under the island and up the cabinet doors.

sh*t happens, my darling man.

Anybody else got a tale?
« Last Edit: May 30, 2012, 10:41:34 PM by Pandora »
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Offline IronDioPriest

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2012, 11:53:49 PM »
I've spent the last two days pulling grass out of new landscaping.

 ::outrage::

We built this house in 2001, and skimped on landscaping to save money. Last year, we finally ponied up for a minimal amount, just to bring our yard into some kind of alignment with our neighbors. Not because we give a shizzle, but because we know they do, and we like to be good neighbors. We had a couple boulders moved to more aesthetically pleasing locations, had some crushed rock laid with vinyl edging, a couple dozen small shrubs, and had a natural boulder retaining wall that was never built right to begin with replaced with neater looking keystones.

Anyhoo, this was several thousand dollars worth of work, and it looked real nice when they first did it. But before the snow flew, we noticed grass growing along the house and along the inside of all the vinyl edging.

My understanding has always been that the mesh laid down under the crushed rock was supposed to prevent growth. For instance, when we first built, it was a few years before we ever noticed any growth inside what little edging we had, and it was just a little grass, and easy to get rid of.

But with this new work, we're talking just about every inch. The guy says "it's normal" because we already had grass when they tore it up and laid down the mesh. According to him, it's different when the landscaping is new on tilled ground with new sod as compared to landscaping on a lot that has an established lawn. He says that killing it with round-up and then pulling it should take care of it once and for all.

So we'll see. I'm a bit pissed because he never said, "Oh by the way, you'll have to pull grass out by the roots around the entire perimeter of what we've done."

Was this shoddy work, or is he shooting straight? As I said, my only other experience with new landscaping is when we first built.
"A strict observance of the written laws is doubtless one of the high duties of a good citizen, but it is not the highest. The laws of necessity, of self-preservation, of saving our country when in danger, are of higher obligation. To lose our country by a scrupulous adherence to written law, would be to lose the law itself, with life, liberty, property and all those who are enjoying them with us; thus absurdly sacrificing the end to the means."

- Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2012, 12:05:55 AM »
Oh boy, yard work and maintenance do suck.  He screwed up, not you.  He should have done the grass-killing before he edged.

Now, wanna tell me what this has to do with food in the kitchen oopses?
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Offline IronDioPriest

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2012, 12:20:21 AM »
Oh boy, yard work and maintenance do suck.  He screwed up, not you.  He should have done the grass-killing before he edged.

Now, wanna tell me what this has to do with food in the kitchen oopses?

Nuttin'. You just axed if I had a tale, so I told a tale.
 ::kissface::
"A strict observance of the written laws is doubtless one of the high duties of a good citizen, but it is not the highest. The laws of necessity, of self-preservation, of saving our country when in danger, are of higher obligation. To lose our country by a scrupulous adherence to written law, would be to lose the law itself, with life, liberty, property and all those who are enjoying them with us; thus absurdly sacrificing the end to the means."

- Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2012, 12:38:41 AM »
LoL.  Heheheheh.  Bwahahaha.

I don't know why it's funny, "you aksed for a tale, so I told a tale", but it is.

Fine, then.

Tell a tale, y'all, of general, all-purposes oopses.

I've got other ones, myself, involving two ounces of wine in a glass vs the refrigerator door.  And the eggplant that wound up mozzarella side down.

Let the games begin.
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Offline IronDioPriest

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2012, 12:52:07 AM »
I know I have a problem in general that seems to manifest in the kitchen more often than not.

I don't know how to describe it other than to say I try to defy the laws of physics when I should know better.

Example: I wash the cookie sheet, and if I'm going to be drying the dishes myself, I wash them all first, then dry. Laying the cookie sheet down takes up too much room, so I stand it up on the counter, and lean one corner against the wall.

I know gob-dum well it's going to fall. It happens every flippin time. But I think, this time, I'll balance it jussssst right.... crash. sh*t.

Mrs. IDP rolls her eyes and says, "I can't believe you're acting like that wasn't going to happen."

Or... every time I eat in the car, I know I'm getting some on my shirt. I should just wear a bib, or eat things with no condiments. But I think this time, I'll be careful,  and I won't spill. Splat. sh*t.

Mrs. IDP rolls her eyes and says, "What? Did you think you weren't going to get food on your shirt?"

Or, I'll try to carry a flimsy paper plate full of food in one hand, thinking that if I bend it jusssssst right, the weight of whatever is weighing down the heavy end won't suddenly flip the damn plate inside out and send the food onto the floor. Splat. sh*t. Eyeroll.

Yeah.
"A strict observance of the written laws is doubtless one of the high duties of a good citizen, but it is not the highest. The laws of necessity, of self-preservation, of saving our country when in danger, are of higher obligation. To lose our country by a scrupulous adherence to written law, would be to lose the law itself, with life, liberty, property and all those who are enjoying them with us; thus absurdly sacrificing the end to the means."

- Thomas Jefferson

Online Pandora

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2012, 01:10:44 AM »
 ::laughonfloor::       ::rolllaughing::

Maybe I'm wrong, but this seems to be a man-thing.  Like the definition of insanity, it's performing the same action yet expecting a different result.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not long ago, I picked the eggplant parmigiana container out of the microwave and because the oven-mitts prohibit fine motor control, the sumbitch slid out of my grasp and ended up mozzie (mozzarella) side down on the goldang floor.  Food smoosh on and under the island, cabinet doors, and everywhere.

*sigh*.

What was left in the container I gave to Gunsmith.  Mine?  I scooped off the floor and slapped on my plate.  Five second rule.

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2012, 06:30:21 AM »
Men don't mistakes or ask for directions, its usually a case of equipment failure, we did it right, the result was not our fault.   Bad paper plate, retarded GPS or road construction, it wasn't my fault! 

 ;)
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline John Florida

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2012, 07:24:12 PM »
  I se fire to an entire grill full of Steaks because I forgot my salt shaker in the kitchen and decided to listen to a conversation that I thought interesting. 12 Steaks charcoal!!Went to get more steaks and put them on a nice platter (after being gone over an hour)got home put them on a platter and proceded to drop the platter.

 Now I'm pissed off again and can't tell any more.Damn you Pan you ruined my night! ::evilbat::
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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2012, 08:10:34 PM »
I drink wine out of a juice-sized glass.  (Don't ask me, I don't like a big glass of anything.)  If I'm not going to finish the glass, I just put it in the refrigerator for tomorrow.  One time, I went to bring out the half-full glass -- let's face it, that's not all that much wine, right? -- and as I was bringing it out of the fridge, my stupid hand closed the door too soon, knocking it out of my hand.

You'd have thought it held half a bottle instead of 2 1/2 ounces.  Wine all over the inside of the refrigerator, all over the floor, splashed the cabinet doors on the other side of the kitchen, splashed up, too, staining the dishwasher's plastic handle, glass everywhere.

In walks the cat ........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry you have a vivid memory, JF.  nyah.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2012, 08:15:22 PM by Pandora »
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Offline Alphabet Soup

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2012, 08:23:58 PM »
I'm such a klutz in the kitchen that you wouldn't be able to tell one of my catastrophes from one of my successes. (That's not true - any time I survive my own cooking I consider it a success).

Offline John Florida

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2012, 09:41:40 PM »
  I was kidding I went to watch the Hatfiels and the McCoys.
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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #12 on: June 01, 2012, 06:50:28 AM »
I drink wine out of a juice-sized glass.  (Don't ask me, I don't like a big glass of anything.)  If I'm not going to finish the glass, I just put it in the refrigerator for tomorrow.  One time, I went to bring out the half-full glass -- let's face it, that's not all that much wine, right? -- and as I was bringing it out of the fridge, my stupid hand closed the door too soon, knocking it out of my hand.

You'd have thought it held half a bottle instead of 2 1/2 ounces.  Wine all over the inside of the refrigerator, all over the floor, splashed the cabinet doors on the other side of the kitchen, splashed up, too, staining the dishwasher's plastic handle, glass everywhere.

In walks the cat ........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry you have a vivid memory, JF.  nyah.

I bet the fridge smells nice though...for a while.   ;D
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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2012, 06:54:38 AM »
  I was kidding I went to watch the Hatfiels and the McCoys.

That was a decent show.  As far as I can tell the principles involved were nailed, but I think they strayed on the opening part, there was no civil war/desertion element to the real story that I can find, and the relationship of Johnsie to the Hatfield cousin I think was played up more than the record suggests, and the scene at the end where Devil Anse was baptised isn't in the record that I can see, but where gaps exists some plausible interpretation had to be constructed.  Overall I thought it a pretty decent portrayal.

Back to your steaks JF!
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline John Florida

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #14 on: June 01, 2012, 07:18:45 PM »
  They got wiped off and eaten!! THE END! ::evilbat::
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Offline EW1(SG)

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Re: Not quite "Food and cooking"; food and OOPS!
« Reply #15 on: June 02, 2012, 09:31:46 PM »
I know I have a problem in general that seems to manifest in the kitchen more often than not.

I don't know how to describe it other than to say I try to defy the laws of physics when I should know better.

Example: I wash the cookie sheet, and if I'm going to be drying the dishes myself, I wash them all first, then dry. Laying the cookie sheet down takes up too much room, so I stand it up on the counter, and lean one corner against the wall.

I know gob-dum well it's going to fall. It happens every flippin time. But I think, this time, I'll balance it jussssst right.... crash. sh*t.

Mrs. IDP rolls her eyes and says, "I can't believe you're acting like that wasn't going to happen."

Or... every time I eat in the car, I know I'm getting some on my shirt. I should just wear a bib, or eat things with no condiments. But I think this time, I'll be careful,  and I won't spill. Splat. sh*t.

Mrs. IDP rolls her eyes and says, "What? Did you think you weren't going to get food on your shirt?"

Or, I'll try to carry a flimsy paper plate full of food in one hand, thinking that if I bend it jusssssst right, the weight of whatever is weighing down the heavy end won't suddenly flip the damn plate inside out and send the food onto the floor. Splat. sh*t. Eyeroll.

Yeah.

Dunno what to tell you about the shirt, but I empty the (clean) dishwasher and pull out the lower rack when I need the extra space to put wet things like cookie sheets and things that don't fit the drainboard well.
My doctor told me to start killing people.  Not in those exact words, she said I had to reduce the stress in my life.

Same thing.