Damn right I'm gonna roll up my sleeves and get back to work. But my "work" will be in a lot different direction. I'll slowly be pooling my resources and try to achieve the success of Weisshaupt.
Not sure what I have is "success" - it sure doesn't feel like it. I am not self-sufficient by any means, and we still have a lot of learnings to go on the green house, control systems and aquaponics before I can consider that effort a reliable supplemental food supply .. I have yet to go through the legal hoops - C-Corporation, quitting and finding contract or other useful cashed based business employment and the other "get ready for the dole" stuff -- and even when I am there I will always know I could be doing "better" materially if I was willing to give the man his "fare share" - his protection money for allowing me to continue to be prosperous and "standing between me and the mob with the pitchforks - the mob he commands. Michelle also struggles with it, and if there is anyone I might keep working for its her. She still wants to find a location "in town" so the kids can have friends and a social life. To me that is like wanting to go live in the sewer --every town here - even the Mountain ones, is infested with vermin. Of course, most the liberals up in the mountains are the old, rich, retired type or the ski bums who work the resorts - who will now spend 80-100% of their time high now its legal to grow and possess. So I take some comfort that they will die soon under Obamacare (there sure as hell won't be country doctros anymore) or be utter failures.
If I break my tank of gas rule, then we might be able to find an urban, super majority are conservative location, but that means we are too far away to maintain the greenhouse and my prep here is exposed to looters and worse. Bottom line, my hedging has cost us - we should have up and moved to a 5+ acre Agricultural zoned farm in a very conservative state from the first sign of trouble. Now I either have to liquidate the teotwawki place at a loss (cause I am never getting my money back out) and start over, or accept the fact that it appears I am now firmly behind enemy lines in regards to the place. . We have the money and resources to buy a good size second place on ag land after the sale of our in-town house - even borrow some more if I am willing to accept a small mortgage. If I want Denver proper that means maybe 2 acres. If I am willing to look at good farm-able and ranchable mountain valley land, I can afford 5-40 acres depending on how close to a vermin infested town we go.. But having multiple properties causes havoc with the Dole system. So I have to figure out those rules too ( if my C-corp owns my house and I rent it back from "them" will that work? Do we have to get divorced? etc etc"
Point is, don't be too in awe of my "success" - we are in the same boat as everyone else- trying to figure out what to do next that will allow us to remain sane and have some measure of peace and happiness in our lives. Or at least for Michelle and my kids. For better or for worse, the hatred is getting the better of me. I hate them. I hate them with a passion that surpasses anything I have ever known. I don't even feel that twinge of regret and sadness at breaking of communications with my Mother, Father and Sister anymore. I know its not healthy, but hate and anger are going to be a normal part of my life from now on. If I didn't have responsibilities suicide would probably be a consideration, since my ability to be happy and enjoy my life have become so seriously impaired. Apparently I am one of those animals that, when caged, sees no purpose in going on. I get up at 3 am- dreams of govt coming for my kids, for my place, and worry over how I will defend my rights make it impossible to sleep again. On Tuesday I had to drive down to Denver for a client - worked all day, and drove all of the way beck without even feeling hungry. If Michelle hadn't pushed a plate of food under my chin at 9:30 that night I would have forgotten to eat all day. In my heart , I know the truth. I will never be free again, and I will have to persevere for at least a decade so my kids can reach adulthood, secure in the knowledge that they will never know freedom in their adult lives. Please God. Make me a stone.