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Author Topic: Comic relief has arrived  (Read 2247 times)

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Offline warpmine

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Comic relief has arrived
« on: December 21, 2012, 05:36:40 PM »
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Offline Libertas

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2012, 06:03:37 PM »
Heh, should have passed on that dress!
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Offline AmericanPatriot

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2012, 11:13:09 PM »
Ny late father in law loved Benny Hill.
He was a boob guy.

I never got into BH. For my British humor, I was a Monty Python guy

"I will fart in your general direction"
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Offline John Florida

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2012, 10:37:11 AM »
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Offline Libertas

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2012, 01:12:52 PM »
OK, now how does a dress like that stay together without glue?   ::whatgives::
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Online Pandora

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2012, 01:28:42 PM »
Quote from: Libertas on December 23, 2012, 01:12:52 PM
OK, now how does a dress like that stay together without glue?   ::whatgives::

Oh, there's glue alright.  There's a special glue, developed just for such purposes.  Seriously.  IIRC, beauty pageant contestants used to use it to keep their bathing suit bottom leg openings from riding up -- when "full coverage" was a consideration and before having half-cheeks hanging out became fashionable.   ::)

Jennifer Lopez once wore a dress to an awards ceremony that I am sure had to have the front parts glued onto her, the "V" was so wide and deep.



So, when you see or hear of a "costume malfunction", know that the she involved just said "no" to glue.
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Offline warpmine

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2012, 02:15:56 PM »
Quote from: Pandora on December 23, 2012, 01:28:42 PM
Quote from: Libertas on December 23, 2012, 01:12:52 PM
OK, now how does a dress like that stay together without glue?   ::whatgives::

Oh, there's glue alright.  There's a special glue, developed just for such purposes.  Seriously.  IIRC, beauty pageant contestants used to use it to keep their bathing suit bottom leg openings from riding up -- when "full coverage" was a consideration and before having half-cheeks hanging out became fashionable.   ::)

Jennifer Lopez once wore a dress to an awards ceremony that I am sure had to have the front parts glued onto her, the "V" was so wide and deep.



So, when you see or hear of a "costume malfunction", know that the she involved just said "no" to glue.
Epoxy would have better justice.
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Offline Glock32

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2012, 02:32:10 PM »
Some of these old has beens like Madonna don't need glue so much as spackling and scaffolding.
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Offline John Florida

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2012, 02:47:43 PM »
  I find dresses like that to be distasteful and immoral to the max. ::unknowncomic::
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Offline warpmine

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2012, 10:03:55 PM »
To me as well. Make a woman look pretty is one thing, make her look Fluke'y that's another thng altogether.
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Offline ChrstnHsbndFthr

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2012, 10:42:03 PM »
I am so disappointed on so many levels here........not just that I must admit that i am basically a dirty old man..... and not just that it is all an illusion......but can one imagine the disappointment in taking the lovely young lady home and finding that her dress was GLUED on!!  Ever get a candy wrapper that just would not come off, perhaps because it had been too long in the heat of one's pocket?  (I say this as a man who has sucked the paper off an old tootsie pop to get at that delicious center and spat bits of paper as long as it took!)

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Online Pandora

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2012, 01:51:50 AM »
Quote from: ChrstnHsbndFthr on December 23, 2012, 10:42:03 PM
I am so disappointed on so many levels here........not just that I must admit that i am basically a dirty old man..... and not just that it is all an illusion......but can one imagine the disappointment in taking the lovely young lady home and finding that her dress was GLUED on!!  Ever get a candy wrapper that just would not come off, perhaps because it had been too long in the heat of one's pocket?  (I say this as a man who has sucked the paper off an old tootsie pop to get at that delicious center and spat bits of paper as long as it took!)

Why of why do I have no trouble believing that at all?!  Sick pup, fella.  Spitting paper?  Ooookay.
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Offline Libertas

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #12 on: December 24, 2012, 11:40:41 AM »
Quote from: Glock32 on December 23, 2012, 02:32:10 PM
Some of these old has beens like Madonna don't need glue so much as spackling and scaffolding.

 ::laughonfloor::
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Offline Alphabet Soup

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #13 on: January 13, 2013, 05:37:36 PM »
I saw this and had to share...

Quote
A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy airport on weapons charges....

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. 'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
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Online Pandora

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #14 on: January 13, 2013, 05:45:53 PM »
Thank you for sharing.
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"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

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Offline warpmine

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #15 on: January 13, 2013, 08:36:21 PM »
 ::thumbsup::
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Offline Libertas

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2013, 07:07:06 AM »
Well, that explains the spending & debt problem.

 ::rimshot::
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charlesoakwood

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #17 on: January 14, 2013, 11:00:05 AM »

Complete and Finished

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words.  In a recently held linguistic competition held in London and attended by supposedly the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.  Some people say there is NO difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer…….. When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.  When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED, And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!!

He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old rum.
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Offline Libertas

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #18 on: January 14, 2013, 11:29:07 AM »
Heh.

Screw the world, give me the rum!   ;D
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Offline ChrstnHsbndFthr

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Re: Comic relief has arrived
« Reply #19 on: January 15, 2013, 08:54:46 PM »
Quote from: Libertas on January 14, 2013, 11:29:07 AM
Heh.

Screw the world, give me the rum!   ;D
I knew u were a man after my own heart! (I favor Captain Morgan, but, in hard times will drink any of the spiced rums and most of the other rums.)
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“My mission today is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the Bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together.

“However, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.”
Phil Robertson an elder in the church of Christ
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