Oh come on.. you guys are missing out on all of the self-absorbed narcissistic fun.. <SPOILER ALERT>
Its the NYT wedding page, and it has such highlights as:
while living in a loft in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, he started biking across the Williamsburg Bridge every morning to practice Ashtanga yoga with Eddie Stern, a well-known teacher in SoHo. “I needed to transition from my party life into my balanced life,” he said. “It takes a long time. It’s not easy.” Three years later, he opened his own Ashtanga studio, Tapovana, in Sag Harbor. He painted the walls dark red, installed almost-black wood floors and put yellow candles everywhere. “It was like a womb,” he said. “It took you somewhere else.” At first, he was terrified, not at all sure he wanted the responsibility of owning a business. “You always need to go a little further than you think you can in order to make progress,” said Mr. De Rosa, who in a single conversation might discuss Hindu deities, the connection between the knees and the ego, an energy healer he admires, Indian spices, juice cleanses and his ideas about love (timing is everything).
It was too hard after your party life so you built and crawled back into a womb?So a conversation on History, Science or mathematics is out huh?
Or try this one:
When she recounts the accident (the child died and Ms. Halweil was not charged) you can really see her calm, philosophical and open demeanor. In an almost plaintive voice, she said: “It was clear sky, clear road. I saw a flash of red coming toward my car.” She swerved but still hit the wagon. “I got out of the car and this really beautiful little girl with pale skin and blue eyes was laying in the road. Her eyes were glazed over. I knew the spirit had left her body.” Today, she says the accident taught her about fate, her own and the girl’s, but at the time she was devastated.
Charged? The dead child was White and worth 50 points. . How could they charge her? But you know what I really hope the Newspaper talks about on my Wedding day? The day I killed a 5 year old child and learned about Fate.
Ms. Halweil, 36, grew up in New York in a tightknit family of four who loved to spend weekends together foraging for elderberries in Central Park, watching old Laurel and Hardy movies or surf-casting on Long Island. She always hoped she would replicate that kind of happy family unit in her own life.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. Seriously? Was it a family of gypsies? They watched Laurel and Hardy in front of the TV repair shop window where they slept, ate what berries they could find in the park, and went fishing to get some protein..and thats what she wanted for her kids. Only she found a husband with a real job and was therefore unhappy.
She started taking daily classes at Tapovana and finding comfort in Ashtanga’s rigorous, some say purifying, series of poses that are practiced in silence. Sometimes, she stayed after class to discuss meditation techniques or the yogic perspective on suffering with Mr. De Rosa. He said he found her “amazingly beautiful and radiating,” but because he had a longtime girlfriend at the time, he said he felt bound to resist falling for Ms. Halweil.
That is Mrs. Halweil. There is so much double entendre in that sentence, I am not going to start.. Luckily he called it off till after her divorce. Or at least that is the story we are giving the papers.
“This is one of the ways I seduced her: I would cook all the time at her cottage,” said Mr. De Rosa, who is so knowledgeable about food he can tell you what to eat to feel more grounded, to get over a broken heart or to sleep better.
And the Rufies I put in her tofu burger didn't hurt either.
In 2010, he moved into her cottage and, not long after, she found out she was pregnant, a big surprise for both of them. He remembers thinking, “There’s no way in the world I’m ready for this, but here’s an opportunity and I’m going to try to evolve and take the leap.” Their daughter, Neelu, was born at home on June 15, 2011, shortly after Ms. Halweil drank a concoction of castor oil, pineapple juice, vodka and baking soda prescribed by her midwife to speed contractions.Today, they live in another house in Sag Harbor filled with furniture Mr. De Rosa built, oil lamps, Indian tapestries and, often, the perfume of Indian food simmering on the stove.
Oops kids out of wedlock. Well, hey embrace what the universe sends you man. And try to keep the reefer smoke away from the kids till they are at least 8.
The next day, they had another, homemade spiritual ceremony at the oceanfront house in Montauk of Ms. Dayan and her husband, Adam Lindemann, a New York art collector. As 150 guests looked on and bamboo flute music played, Ms. Halweil appeared wearing a backless dress designed by Nili Lotan on a lawn decorated with modern sculptures including an enormous one by Urs Fischer of a yellow teddy bear.The bride described the color of her dress as “pigeon-blood red.” The groom was the one who wore white. He had on a Nehru-style suit the shade of coconut milk, lined with jewels around the lapels and neck.
Did the Teddy Bear make it feel more like a Womb do you think?Or was that the pigeon blood on the dress? Oh right, the dress was pigeon blood colored.. wait how do you know the particular shade of pigeon blood. Was it some wiccan thing? And what does that color symbolize on a bride? Teddy Bears, Blood and Coconut Milk.. why am I thinking about Akira now. Oh Right.
Like their home and the classes they teach, the vows the couple wrote were stripped-down, with no attempt at being quirky, fanciful or the newest thing. While standing under a white, hand-carved, wood arbor built by the groom, they recited seven simple vows, including, “May our house be filled with knowledge, happiness and harmony.”Mr. Halsband, who was among the guests, commented, “It was just super-solid and super-honest.”
We figured that our lives were quirky enough without having to put that in our vows. But that's just Super.
