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Author Topic: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game  (Read 857 times)

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Offline trapeze

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DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« on: October 24, 2013, 11:39:02 PM »
Quote
Welcome to http://Healthcare.gov !
The health insurance marketplace is dark.
You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
>go right

You see a young woman. She is smiling.
>talk to young woman

She is still smiling. Her eyes are glassy.
>ask young woman about health insurance

She does not know about health insurance.
She is a stock photo model.
>go back

You can not go back.
>look around

It is dark.
You think you hear the rustling of a health plan quote in the darkness but it could be a grue.
>go forward

You have found a health insurance plan.
>examine plan

You must provide your identification information first. This may take some time.
>give information to plan

There is no insurance plan.
>inventory

Your inventory contains:
Empty slot where your old health insurance plan used to be. You may put an insurance plan here.
>get insurance plan

You see no insurance plan.
>look around

It is dark.
You hear rustling in the distance.
>search room

You feel what you believe is a health insurance plan.
>examine plan

You must provide your identification information first. This may take time.
You are very hungry.
>give information to plan

Four and a half hours have passed.
You are ravenous.
You may also have dysentery.
>get plan

There is no insurance plan.
>eat food

Welcome to http://LetsMove.gov !
Hooray for water!
Would you like some water?
>get food

Here is a lettuce.
Would you like some water?
>eat lettuce

Yum! That was delicious lettuce!
Would you like some water?
>drink water

Yum! That was delicious water!
Would you like more food and water?
>get food and water

Before you can have more food and water you must give details of your health insurance plan. Do you have a health insurance plan?
>N

Welcome to http://healthcare.gov !
The health insurance marketplace is dark.
You are very hungry.
>find plan

You see a dizzying array of health insurance plans of all shapes and sizes.
You see President Barack Obama.
>get plan

President Barack Obama stops you.
"Before you may have a plan, you must sing me a song."
>sing "Mmm. Mmm. Mmm."

"Wonderful! Are you a blogger, talking head, activist, or lobbyist?"
>Y

He frowns.
"You may not have a plan!"
>go back

You see a dizzying array of health insurance plans of all shapes and sizes.
You see President Barack Obama.
>get plan

President Barack Obama stops you.
"Before you have a plan, you must sing me a song."
>sing that stupid http://will.i.am  song

"Wonderful! Are you a blogger, talking head, activist, or lobbyist?"
>N

He smiles.
"You are good and kind. You may have a plan!"
>get plan

You must provide your identification information first.
This will definitely take time.
You are very hungry.
>give information to Obama

He smiles.
"Wonderful! You are subscribed to the Organizing for Action mailing list! Would you like a plan now?"
>YES

You must provide your identification information first.
You are very, very hungry.
It is now the next day.
>give information

Oops!
Your information was eaten by a grue.
Try again?
>YES

Oops!
Your information was given to an identity thief.
Try again?
>YES

Hooray!
You have successfully given your information.
Also, you apparently bought a brand new Tesla somewhere in Russia.
>get plan

Hooray!
You are about to get a plan!
Are you excited about your plan? It was chosen just for you.
>y

Here is your plan.
Get ready.
It's almost here.
Ready?
Ready??
>YESYESYESYESYESYESYES

Pay 1,200 credits to get plan.
>examine credits

You have 200 credits.
Would you like to earn more credits?
>Y

Welcome to http://PartTimeEmployeeFinder.gov !
Your only job-search and employment portal for the New Vibrant American Economy!
Would you like a job?
>Y

Please complete the application form.
>give information to form

Oops!
Your information was eaten by a grue.
Try again?
>give information to form

Oops!
Your information was given to the IRS.
Try again?
>Y

Hooray!
Your information is on file.
You may have JOB in 6-9 months.
>go back

Oh, there's no going back from this.
But we know what you mean.
Hang on.
>.

You have a new item in your inventory!
Would you like to look at it?
>n
>go back

Are you sure? It could be JOB or HEALTH PLAN.
>okay sure inventory

Your inventory contains:
IRS AUDIT, YOU FILTHY BACK-GOING TEABAGGER
>drop audit

You can not drop IRS AUDIT, YOU FILTHY BACK-GOING TEABAGGER.
>lean forward

Oh! We are so sorry, Mr. Matthews!
We did not realize it was you.
You have dropped IRS AUDIT, YOU FILTHY TEABAGGER.
>go forward

You see a dizzying array of health insurance plans of all shapes and sizes.
You see President Barack Obama.
>get plan please I am so hungry

Pay 1,200 credits to get plan.
>get subsidy

You must give your personal information to get subsidy.
>n

Are you sure?
It is a big subsidy.
It is a 1,200 credit subsidy.
>give information

HA!
Fooled you.
You must give your information in Sanskrit to get subsidy.
Also, dance for us.
>give information in sanskrit
>dance

There is more at this link.
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Online Pandora

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2013, 11:53:09 PM »
Shoot computer now?

>YESYESYES
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Offline Libertas

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2013, 07:18:22 AM »
 ::hysterical::
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Offline BigAlSouth

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2013, 08:43:27 AM »
That goes to show ya that some people have WAY too much time on their hands. Another by-product of the Obama(part-time)Economy.
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Online ToddF

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2013, 08:46:23 AM »
From what I've read, the tech behind the website is as old as this game.

 ::laughonfloor::
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Offline Glock32

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2013, 01:14:28 PM »
Yeah when you load the page you get



GW BASIC 2.11
(C) Copyright Microsoft 1983,1984
60300 Bytes free
Ok

WELCOME TO OBAMACARE(TM)!

PLEASE INSERT 360KB FLOPPY INTO A: AND PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE

ERROR LINE 237 -- THATS RACIST

?Redo from start

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Offline Libertas

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2013, 02:42:51 PM »
Quote from: Glock32 on October 25, 2013, 01:14:28 PM
Yeah when you load the page you get



GW BASIC 2.11
(C) Copyright Microsoft 1983,1984
60300 Bytes free
Ok

WELCOME TO OBAMACARE(TM)!

PLEASE INSERT 360KB FLOPPY INTO A: AND PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE

ERROR LINE 237 -- THATS RACIST
?Redo from start



 ::laughonfloor::
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Offline trapeze

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2013, 04:00:09 PM »
Quote from: BigAlSouth on October 25, 2013, 08:43:27 AM
That goes to show ya that some people have WAY too much time on their hands. Another by-product of the Obama(part-time)Economy.

I think that he did it while on hold with the 800 number.

The theme, obviously, is that the website was built with old tech and that is being illustrated with a "what happens next" text game from the 1970s.

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Offline AlanS

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2013, 05:11:47 PM »
Quote from: Glock32 on October 25, 2013, 01:14:28 PM
Yeah when you load the page you get



GW BASIC 2.11
(C) Copyright Microsoft 1983,1984
60300 Bytes free
Ok

WELCOME TO OBAMACARE(TM)!

PLEASE INSERT 360KB FLOPPY INTO A: AND PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE

ERROR LINE 237 -- THATS RACIST

?Redo from start



That's funny, I don't care who ya are. ::hysterical::
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RickZ

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2013, 04:33:57 AM »
Quote from: MNHawk on October 25, 2013, 08:46:23 AM
From what I've read, the tech behind the website is as old as this game.

 ::laughonfloor::

Not sure who I heard say this, but the gist of the comment was, 'The website is a fiasco.  And now they are going to hire more people to fix it when any 10-year-old could have built a better website in half a day.'

That was before I found out that a Mooch crony (a Princeton classmate) had the contract for constructing the website.  So basically, The Unaffordable Health Insurance and Patient Denied Care Act website is a failure because of affirmative action.
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Offline IronDioPriest

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Re: DumbassCare As An Interactive Adventure Game
« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2013, 08:01:53 AM »
I don't think it was ever supposed to work. It was meant to Cloward-Piven the system.
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