I don't know if their spouses know their status. No one else is talking or asking though. Because having a different opinion in my family is taken as offensive.
I understand your statement probably better than I care to. I experienced a lot of heartache before I realized my family required reasonable recourse rather than the straight out opinion I believed they should accept because, after all, it's ME! They know me.
I learned differently. Depending on the pecking order, a differing opinion can be seen as a challenge to existing mores. As in "you should believe as I do because I am your mother, father, older sibling" or " I can't believe my own mother, sister, grandmother, would say such a thing,"
I outright asked my niece if her new husband was "legal" . Told her she did not have to answer, but that I really liked him and would hate to see them parted, told her that if it ever came about that they "needed" me, to just call. I know, that was subterfuge..it worked.
