Topic: A little levity

[rustybayonet]

Some truths mixed with humor;

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame -
two is a law firm -
and three of more is a congress ......... John Adams

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed .... Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot.  And suppose you were a member of Congress.  But then I repeat myself .... Mark Twain

I content that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle .... Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul .... George Bernard Shaw

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money ....G. Gordon Liddy

I don't make jokes.  I just watch the government and report the facts .... Will Rogers

And the last one today [with more to follow]

If you think health care in expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free .... P.J. O'Rourke

[Libertas]

If you like you levity, you can keep your levity.

[rustybayonet]

Libertas - a little more levity --

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys....P.J. O'Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other....Voltaire [1764]

No mans' life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session... Mark Twain [1866]

Talk is cheap..except when Congress does it....Anonymous

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other...Ronald Reagan

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin... Mark Twain

There is no distinctly American criminal class -- save Congress .... Mark Twain

The ultimate result of shielding men from effects of folly is to fill the world with fools .... Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians ... Edward Langley

[Libertas]

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other...Ronald Reagan

   So true!

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians ... Edward Langley

 

[rustybayonet]

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.....  Douglas Casey

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of somebody else ..... Frederic Bastiat

Governments view of the economy could be summed us in a few short phrases:  If it moves, tax it.  If it keeps moving, regulate it.  And if it stops moving, subsidize it .... Ronald Reagan

Just because you don't take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you .... Pericles

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.  The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery ... Winston Churchill

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have ... Thomas Jefferson

[rustybayonet]

Some one Liners;

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it..
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them..[um]
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke..
Don't take life to seriously; no one gets out alive..
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me..
Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder..
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe..
I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are just missing..
Out of my mind -- back in five minutes..

[OldSailor]

Lost my mind.

I'm offering a reward.

 

[rustybayonet]

con't --

God must love stupid people; he made so many ...
The gene pool could use a little chlorine ...
Consciousness; That annoying time between naps ...
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? ...
Being over the hill is mush better than being under it! ...
Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up ...
Procrastinate Now ...
A hangover is the wrath of grapesThey call it PMS because Mad Cow Deisease was already taken ...

[rustybayonet]

cont' again

I have a degree in Liberal Arts; Do you want fries with that? ...
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance ....
Stupidity is not a handicap.  Park elsewhere .....
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD ....
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory ...
Han and eggs -- A days work for the chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig ...
The trouble with life is there's no background music ...
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson ...
I smile because I don't know whats going on ...

[rustybayonet]

It's and oldie, but goodie;


A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertable out of the dealership.  Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what was left of his hair.
'Amazing' he thought as he flew down I-65, pushing the pedal even more.  Then, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing, and siren blaring.  He floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120.  Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing?  I'm too old for this," and he pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.  Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.  Today is Friday, and I'd rather not have a lot of paper work to do.  If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."  The old gentleman paused, then said; "years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper.  I thought you were briniging her back."
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"Have a good day, sir!"

[warpmine]

It's and oldie, but goodie;


A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertable out of the dealership.  Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what was left of his hair.
'Amazing' he thought as he flew down I-65, pushing the pedal even more.  Then, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing, and siren blaring.  He floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120.  Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing?  I'm too old for this," and he pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.  Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.  Today is Friday, and I'd rather not have a lot of paper work to do.  If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."  The old gentleman paused, then said; "years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper.  I thought you were briniging her back."
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"Have a good day, sir!"

[Dan]

Hah!

[OldSailor]

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians ... Edward Langley

 

I'll vote for that!