Why isn't this posted in "Entertainment"? This is a fricken riot!
I think the better lead in would be: "Hi, John. What brings you back to us? Reviews from the future still making the 'ol butthole throb since your last set of predictions were such a stupendous failure? You have a lot of redeeming to get to!"
"...because there are now only two workers per retiree paying into the system."?
Umm, try pretty much 1:1 future boy!
Everything that follows is fantastic parody! The ObamaCare template of the “Prostitrumption Act" and it's language, like: "if liked your partner, you could keep your partner"!
The funniest parts to me are:John Titor: No, the poor won’t be able to afford to comply even with the help of the rebates. Most will end up paying the tax. Ultimately the public exchanges will fail, but I think it was mostly because the people who sign up for them are –well -- ugly.
Interviewer: Ugly? You must be joking…
John Titor: No. I am not joking. As public exchanges failed, Trump introduced a new fee to every premium to pay for Viagra and porn in order to help matters along.
Interviewer: They will force people to pay for porn?
John Titor: Many will complain that doing so is against their right of conscience, and that performance issues are a problem for an individual to solve. Trump justified it by saying, “If Obama can introduce a fee for contraception, then I can have a fee for porn and Viagra too. But hey, maybe if you ask nice I will give you an exemption if your particular sex exchange is church run. ”
Interviewer: So there will be church run sex exchanges? I can’t imagine any church doing so…
John Titor: No, of course not. Trump was referencing exempting the Catholic Nuns from the ACA conception fee only if they got health insurance from a church run plan. There will be, of course, an explosion in private firms offering “exchange” services. Such firms will have fewer problems with VD, but as public “not-for-profit” exchanges fail, the private firm’s “premiums” will just skyrocket.
And, of course the big finale!Interviewer: So why are you coming here to reveal this information now, instead of time traveling to before the election?
John Titor: I can’t risk a President Hillary. Trust me, I experienced that timeline as well, and what she does is much worse than anything I just described.
Damn, that was funny!