CHICAGO, ILLINOIS- A public relations nightmare ensued after Vice President Joe Biden visited a prominent preschool in the greater Chicago area today that enrolls the children of Chicago's most elite citizens while heavily intoxicated. Despite the please of his body guards and entourage he refused to cancel the reading of "Of Thee I Sing: A Letter To My Daughters" A children's book written by Barack Obama.
Teachers at the preschool said they saw Biden stumbling and leaning against the wall as he made his way to the library where the event was to be held. They also stated that they saw Biden acting combative towards a female member of his entourage when she stood between him and the library door begging him not to go in. Witnesses stated that they heard Biden yell "God dammit, when I say I'm gonna do something I do it!" before shoving her out of the way and stumbling into the room.
Once inside the library full of excited children he made an attempt to sit in his chair, falling to the ground as body guards rushed to his aid. Biden then swung his arms at them saying "Get away from me I don't need your f****** help". There was a slight gasp in the room from adults mixed with children still laughing at the sight of the VP falling down.
As the book reading began, even teachers in the back of the room reported smelling alcohol. Biden had difficulty reading the book, repeating lines and mispronouncing words as he tried to follow the text with his finger while swaying in his seat.
After the first few pages, Biden handed the book off to one of the students saying "Here, isn't your job to be read learning anyway?" But then immediately took the book back from the shocked student and continued to read the "blurry words". After a few minutes of reading the Vice President stopped talking and his glazed blood-shot eyes looked to the back of the room.
The room went dead silent as nervous teachers and members of the VP's entourage gave each other nervous looks. After what seemed like five minutes of tension building up in the strange silence Biden began suddenly projectile vomiting on the book in his hands and towards the students. In the words of Ruby Valentine, a student attending the book reading "His eyes got real big like baseballs and then he started barfing everywhere." The silence in the room broke as screaming children ran away from Biden as body guards helped him up out of his chair. But in the process the VP lost his balance, stumbling and then falling down towards the frightened children knocking over chairs and a bookshelf prompting even louder cries of terror as stunned teachers tried to calm down their students.
Martha Hazard, one of the teachers talked to reporters commenting "All these kids have extra clothes on hand in case they get dirty or soil them. No one ever expected we would have to change their clothes because of the Vice President of the United States. Fortunately it was only a few who were sitting in the front row who needed to be changed. This is one of the most horrific days this academy has ever seen."
As children screamed the drunken VP was carried out of the room since he was no longer able to walk on his own while sobbing, muttering "Why'd you have to go Ted?" referring to the late Ted Kennedy, a former drinking buddy of Joe Biden. Teachers heard Biden crying out Ted's name as his voice became more and more faint while being evacuated from the building.
In the confusion, remaining members of the Secret Service collected all of the cellphones and other recording devices while explaining that the VP was merely "Sick with the flu". They also confiscated all the security footage from that day. Because of that there is no recording of the incident and there is only the statements of teachers and frightened children. However while the staff cleaned up the mess they found under a pile of books by the knocked over bookshelf a large and nearly empty flask with the initials "J.B." engraved on it. It is surmised that it fell out of the Vice President's pocket when he fell down. The Vice President's office has refused to accept any calls and has aggressively declined to comment.
http://www.thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/inoxicated-biden-vomits-during-book-reading-at-a-preschool-t16261.htmlThis reads like a scene out of The Exorcist or something...poor kids going to have nightmares for years!
Way to go, Plugs...whatsamatta, you? Not dealing well with being the forgotten man? Not happy about all the Progs shooting down any idea you have of running for the Big Chair? You gotta get trashed and take it out on everybody else, even little kids?
Well, you are certainly living up to your reputation...
