It's About Liberty: A Conservative Forum

Topics => General Board => Topic started by: Pandora on June 25, 2014, 01:18:19 PM

Title: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Pandora on June 25, 2014, 01:18:19 PM
Stop "placing" feces ... (http://www.govexec.com/federal-news/fedblog/2014/06/epa-employees-told-stop-pooping-hallway/87223/)

Quote
... Management for Region 8 in Denver, Colo., wrote an email earlier this year to all staff in the area pleading with them to stop inappropriate bathroom behavior, including defecating in the hallway. 

In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.

Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk.

An "expert" had to be consulted to confirm poop in the hallway is a health and sanitation issue?  What if the "expert" had pooh-poohed it as no big deal?  Would Region 8 management have decided the issue wasn't worth addressing?

I swear, some days ........
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Alphabet Soup on June 25, 2014, 02:51:09 PM
I swear most days ........

 ::exitstageleft::
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: ToddF on June 25, 2014, 02:59:15 PM
I snarked on that, also, but to be fair, the expert is a doctor of psychology, and really is an expert on what kind of people go boom in the workplace.  I think it's just poor writing, by the journotard.

Surprisingly enough, the workplace expert sees a chance of escalating behavior, from someone pooping in the hallways, today.

In my particular workplace, a notice was stuck in our bathroom wall over Christmas, to have a care, and not mess it up.  I asked maintenance what the sign was about, and he said someone was throwing their poo all around, messing up everything.  It was guessed that it was one of the temps that came on around Christmas, when our workplace become more...diverse, shall we say.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Alphabet Soup on June 25, 2014, 03:44:23 PM
Did I ever tell you my "pooping in the workplace" story? (I don't want to repeat myself).
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Pandora on June 25, 2014, 03:52:08 PM
Did I ever tell you my "pooping in the workplace" story? (I don't want to repeat myself).

"I do not recall that".

Tell us, please.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: benb61 on June 25, 2014, 03:57:37 PM
Did I ever tell you my "pooping in the workplace" story? (I don't want to repeat myself).

"I do not recall that".

Tell us, please.

Yes, PLEASE do tell.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Glock32 on June 25, 2014, 03:58:39 PM
Considering it's the EPA, I figured maybe they had a collection bin in the hallway for proper eco-friendly disposal and organic fertilizing. Can't waste water, ya know.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: AlanS on June 25, 2014, 04:13:25 PM
Did I ever tell you my "pooping in the workplace" story? (I don't want to repeat myself).

 ::deercorn::
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Glock32 on June 25, 2014, 04:16:50 PM
(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/43868208.jpg)
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: richb on June 25, 2014, 05:28:54 PM
Only the government would hire an expert to tell them that pooping in the hallway is bad............

Talk about issues if you can't keep people from pooping in a hallway.   
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Pandora on June 25, 2014, 07:18:57 PM
Only the government would hire an expert to tell validate for them that pooping in the hallway is bad............

Talk about issues if you can't keep people from pooping in a hallway.

That's what I'm sayin' ......
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: AmericanPatriot on June 25, 2014, 07:43:43 PM
Does Charlie Brown work there?

I remember in the song "who's always pooping in the halls?"
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: ChrstnHsbndFthr on June 25, 2014, 09:21:51 PM
Did I ever tell you my "pooping in the workplace" story? (I don't want to repeat myself).

 ::deercorn::

Yeah, buttered my popcorn, got the big drink, bathroom check....waiting for the show....enjoying the previews of future attractions.....waiting...waiting....gonna have to get the free refill on the popcorn!
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: AlanS on June 26, 2014, 05:01:49 AM
On a side note, I guess working at the EPA must be a crappy job.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: LadyVirginia on June 26, 2014, 10:13:09 AM
On a side note, I guess working at the EPA must be a crappy job.

 ::rimshot::
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: ToddF on June 26, 2014, 01:18:28 PM
I don't suppose anyone wants to hear details of when I had to clean some #2 out of the #1 receptacle, back in my theater days, or better yet, what happened when the 300 pound rent a cop used our facilities to relieve himself?

I'm game if you are.   ::grouphug::





Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: AlanS on June 26, 2014, 01:27:04 PM
I don't suppose anyone wants to hear details of when I had to clean some #2 out of the #1 receptacle, back in my theater days, or better yet, what happened when the 300 pound rent a cop used our facilities to relieve himself?

I'm game if you are.   ::grouphug::

But did you have to clean it out of the halls?

If not, they must not have been government employees.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Pandora on June 26, 2014, 02:19:18 PM
I don't suppose anyone wants to hear details of when I had to clean some #2 out of the #1 receptacle, back in my theater days, or better yet, what happened when the 300 pound rent a cop used our facilities to relieve himself?

I'm game if you are.   ::grouphug::

I believe I just read all the detail I care to, thank you.

No offense.   ::kissface::
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: ToddF on June 26, 2014, 03:01:13 PM
I don't suppose anyone wants to hear details of when I had to clean some #2 out of the #1 receptacle, back in my theater days, or better yet, what happened when the 300 pound rent a cop used our facilities to relieve himself?

I'm game if you are.   ::grouphug::

But did you have to clean it out of the halls?

If not, they must not have been government employees.

Rowdy junior high kids on a Friday night.  I'll spare you any more details.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: trapeze on June 26, 2014, 10:44:53 PM
On a somewhat related note...

One of the joys that you can expect in our new "new" America is the south of the border toilet etiquette. If you haven't personally experienced this (and you will...it's only a matter of time), please allow me to enlighten you.

It seems that just about the entire population that lies to the south of the Rio Grande has been trained since birth to NOT put paper in toilets. And that would be the ones who actually are trained to even know what a toilet is. For those who are instead used to a hole in the ground, well, things are sorta worse. But anyway...these amigos come to America and bring this interesting "habit" of not putting paper in the toilet. It seems that the "sewer" systems that are available in Central and South America cannot handle paper. Or at least the inhabitants of these places believe it to be so. In my youth (say about 25 years ago) I first experienced this in a workplace that employed several dozen amigos. Management dealt with this by essentially surrendering to the amigos way of life and placing a small wastebasket next to each toilet to hold the very well used toilet paper. It made using the restroom a very unpleasant experience for all of us non-amigos but, hey, diversity.

BTW...very funny article (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2014/06/25/epa-employees-asked-to-stop-pooping-in-hallway-poop-bandit-may-still-be-on-the-loose) on the EPA poop situation.

One other thing...I have to believe that sooner or later the EPA will get serious about this investigation, do a DNA analysis of a hallway turd and then attempt to match it up to an employee. That said, a truly diabolical (and seriously deranged) poop bandit would figure out a way to obtain and distribute third party poop to frustrate a scientific investigation approach. Escalation? It really does beg the question as to just where you do go from pooping in the hallways.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: ToddF on June 27, 2014, 07:44:26 AM
Squat toilets and bidets for the win!   ::danceban::

Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: AlanS on June 27, 2014, 08:11:51 AM
Well, this thread sure went to sh!t.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Libertas on June 27, 2014, 01:12:35 PM
This looks like a thread we can beat the sh*t out of...
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Alphabet Soup on June 28, 2014, 02:13:53 PM
I apologize for the delay. Yesterday I finished my project at work. For the almost the last two months I've been putting in 12-14 hour days that don't leave a lot of time for much else but sleep. But I promised more silliness and I got er done.  The Poop Story can be found here:

http://itsaboutliberty.com/index.php?topic=9420.msg131453#msg131453 (http://itsaboutliberty.com/index.php?topic=9420.msg131453#msg131453)
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Libertas on June 28, 2014, 10:13:28 PM
Situational awareness test number 47....

If you leave the restroom and have any of the following issues, you are not situationally aware:

*Your fly is open.
*You have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.
*You have urine stains on your pants.
*Your shirt is poorly or not tucked in at all.
*An angry person is chasing you for something you shouldn't have done.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: trapeze on June 28, 2014, 10:52:57 PM
I apologize for the delay. Yesterday I finished my project at work. For the almost the last two months I've been putting in 12-14 hour days that don't leave a lot of time for much else but sleep. But I promised more silliness and I got er done.  The Poop Story can be found here:

http://itsaboutliberty.com/index.php?topic=9420.msg131453#msg131453 (http://itsaboutliberty.com/index.php?topic=9420.msg131453#msg131453)

I would add one more bit of Men's Room Etiquette to your story. And this may not apply anymore since we are so multi-culti (see above (http://itsaboutliberty.com/index.php?topic=11625.msg131404#msg131404)) and all but it used to be this way. It is a matter of etiquette that you may not use your hands for anything that your feet can do. This would include (but is not limited to) flushing the toilet and raising and/or lowering the toilet seat.

And I also seem to remember an old George Carlin routine that described the proper way to use a urinal. That being a requirement to wet the entire thing from top to bottom before you are allowed to go for the cigarette butts at the bottom.

And...getting back to the actual thread topic...I actually can think of a couple of ways for the poop bandit to escalate the situation. He could do some sort of variation of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgdfvTBrpD0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgdfvTBrpD0#)

Or he could (and I am assuming that the perp is a male...perhaps not, though) start sending his poop to his victims through the mail. Unlikely? Hey, they send anthrax through the mail so why not poop?

Just remembered a rather horrid incident from my college days. Seems someone decided to partake in some really serious revenge against an apartment operator and put a rather large quantity of poop in one of the community laundry dryers. I think they had to replace the dryer.

On balance, though, I have to say that I feel pretty good that a deranged nutcase is terrorizing the Denver branch of the EPA with poop. The only thing that would make me feel a bit better would be some clod doing the same thing to the IRS. I hope that he is able to keep it up and that they never catch him. He would then be the Ted Kaczynkski of fecal material...continuing to strike with impunity for a decade or more before some relative rats him out. They could make a movie about it.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: AlanS on June 29, 2014, 05:21:16 AM
A serial pooper?

The uni-pooper? It's got a ring to it.
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Pandora on June 29, 2014, 10:46:50 AM
Brings new meaning to the phrase, "clear the poop decks".
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: AlanS on June 29, 2014, 11:06:05 AM
Brings new meaning to the phrase, "clear the poop decks".

Deck the halls?
Title: Re: EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
Post by: Libertas on June 29, 2014, 01:35:19 PM
Fecal Terrorism.  Don't tell Congress, they'll create a new agency to combat it, talk about sh*t duty....