It's About Liberty: A Conservative Forum
Topics => Entertainment => Topic started by: John Florida on January 12, 2012, 06:55:55 PM
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Twas the month after Christmas,
And all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
Not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled,
The chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties
Had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales
There arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a Summer, disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.
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I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
She'll "want"??! Ratcrap, I call!
Celery is an excuse to eat cream cheese.
I didn't gain an ounce, much to the dismay of my GI Doc. Oh-the-hell-well!
We made two big, wonderful loaves of Italian bread today and the eggplant parmagiana is in the oven as I write. Heheheh.
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I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
She'll "want"??! Ratcrap, I call!
Celery is an excuse to eat cream cheese.
I didn't gain an ounce, much to the dismay of my GI Doc. Oh-the-hell-well!
We made two big, wonderful loaves of Italian bread today and the eggplant parmagiana is in the oven as I write. Heheheh.
He bakes too?? WOW you sure are lucky!
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I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
She'll "want"??! Ratcrap, I call!
Celery is an excuse to eat cream cheese.
I didn't gain an ounce, much to the dismay of my GI Doc. Oh-the-hell-well!
We made two big, wonderful loaves of Italian bread today and the eggplant parmagiana is in the oven as I write. Heheheh.
He bakes too?? WOW you sure are lucky!
I yam! The man is up for just about anything.
(Keeping in mind he cleans while I get my hands stuck in the friggin dough. *FLOUR! I need FLOUR!!)
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Gunsmith sez "I yam a Renaissance man!"
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Gunsmith sez "I yam a Renaissance man!"
He's just hooked on you.
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Gunsmith sez "I yam a Renaissance man!"
He's just hooked on you.
Yep.
And he loves him some goooood bread.
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...Celery is an excuse to eat cream cheese....
That sounds yummy. I would try it... but that would mean I'd have to eat a piece of celery without peanut-butter, and I can promise you that ain't happening.