It's About Liberty: A Conservative Forum

Topics => General Board => Topic started by: Weisshaupt on August 27, 2012, 06:03:58 PM

Title: Benefit Finder. You can't make this up
Post by: Weisshaupt on August 27, 2012, 06:03:58 PM

I mentioned this tool (http://www.benefits.gov/benefits/benefit-finder/#benefits&qc=cat_1) in my food stamps thread, but it really deserves its own.  Some highlights:

Filling out a form to see what you qualify for? Well we have to know your race. You see, certain races, being inferior, need more help.
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits1.jpg)

In jail? No problem, there are benefits for you too!
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits2.jpg)

Hmm, they don't seem to have an entry for engineering. These all seem to be agri,  govt or union jobs.

(http://[url=http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits3.jpg]http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits3.jpg[/url])

 Dang, not a druggie..
(http://[url=http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits4.jpg]http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits4.jpg[/url])

Hey Presidentially  Declared disaster- does the Obama Presidency count?
(http://[url=http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits5.jpg]http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits5.jpg[/url])

Work for us once- benefits thereafter.
(http://[url=http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits6.jpg]http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits6.jpg[/url])

Hey, even though I am white, educated, and have a degree, I still may qualify for  100 programs, including special loans and  grants for building Solar PV systems, and opening rural businesses and improving my double-wide mobile home. Guess the "Are you now or have you ever been a Republican?" question comes later
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c341/weisshaupt/benefits7.jpg)

Title: Re: Benefit Finder. You can't make this up
Post by: Libertas on August 27, 2012, 08:00:27 PM

I am a native American, I was born here.

Title: Re: Benefit Finder. You can't make this up
Post by: warpmine on August 28, 2012, 04:53:49 AM

Quote from: Libertas on August 27, 2012, 08:00:27 PM

I am a native American, I was born here.

What about illegal aliens, they were all born on Liberalanus. ::hysterical::

Title: Re: Benefit Finder. You can't make this up
Post by: Libertas on August 28, 2012, 06:48:29 AM

Quote from: warpmine on August 28, 2012, 04:53:49 AM

Quote from: Libertas on August 27, 2012, 08:00:27 PM

I am a native American, I was born here.

What about illegal aliens, they were all born on Liberalanus. ::hysterical::

An illegal anus has no claim.

Title: Re: Benefit Finder. You can't make this up
Post by: LadyVirginia on August 29, 2012, 08:26:53 AM

I got an 86.  And looking over the list I don't think there's one I actually could qualify for if I was so inclined.  An interesting one--literature grant.  Not sure why that got on the list but you get a grant to sit around and write for a year or two.  The catch is you have to already be a published writer.  Which had me wondering what do you need a grant for if you've already been published? You did it at least once without a grant.

Title: Re: Benefit Finder. You can't make this up
Post by: Libertas on August 29, 2012, 11:49:59 AM

What qualifies as "published"?  I "published" a masters thesis eons ago, the copies are probably still rotting in the school library...but it was "published"!

Title: Re: Benefit Finder. You can't make this up
Post by: Pandora on August 29, 2012, 12:25:24 PM

I was published in the local newspaper when I was eight.

Title: Re: Benefit Finder. You can't make this up
Post by: Libertas on August 29, 2012, 08:44:34 PM

I guess we're good to go.