It's About Liberty: A Conservative Forum
Topics => General Board => Topic started by: trapeze on October 24, 2013, 11:39:02 PM
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Welcome to http://Healthcare.gov (http://Healthcare.gov) !
The health insurance marketplace is dark.
You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
>go right
You see a young woman. She is smiling.
>talk to young woman
She is still smiling. Her eyes are glassy.
>ask young woman about health insurance
She does not know about health insurance.
She is a stock photo model.
>go back
You can not go back.
>look around
It is dark.
You think you hear the rustling of a health plan quote in the darkness but it could be a grue.
>go forward
You have found a health insurance plan.
>examine plan
You must provide your identification information first. This may take some time.
>give information to plan
There is no insurance plan.
>inventory
Your inventory contains:
Empty slot where your old health insurance plan used to be. You may put an insurance plan here.
>get insurance plan
You see no insurance plan.
>look around
It is dark.
You hear rustling in the distance.
>search room
You feel what you believe is a health insurance plan.
>examine plan
You must provide your identification information first. This may take time.
You are very hungry.
>give information to plan
Four and a half hours have passed.
You are ravenous.
You may also have dysentery.
>get plan
There is no insurance plan.
>eat food
Welcome to http://LetsMove.gov (http://LetsMove.gov) !
Hooray for water!
Would you like some water?
>get food
Here is a lettuce.
Would you like some water?
>eat lettuce
Yum! That was delicious lettuce!
Would you like some water?
>drink water
Yum! That was delicious water!
Would you like more food and water?
>get food and water
Before you can have more food and water you must give details of your health insurance plan. Do you have a health insurance plan?
>N
Welcome to http://healthcare.gov (http://healthcare.gov) !
The health insurance marketplace is dark.
You are very hungry.
>find plan
You see a dizzying array of health insurance plans of all shapes and sizes.
You see President Barack Obama.
>get plan
President Barack Obama stops you.
"Before you may have a plan, you must sing me a song."
>sing "Mmm. Mmm. Mmm."
"Wonderful! Are you a blogger, talking head, activist, or lobbyist?"
>Y
He frowns.
"You may not have a plan!"
>go back
You see a dizzying array of health insurance plans of all shapes and sizes.
You see President Barack Obama.
>get plan
President Barack Obama stops you.
"Before you have a plan, you must sing me a song."
>sing that stupid http://will.i.am (http://will.i.am) song
"Wonderful! Are you a blogger, talking head, activist, or lobbyist?"
>N
He smiles.
"You are good and kind. You may have a plan!"
>get plan
You must provide your identification information first.
This will definitely take time.
You are very hungry.
>give information to Obama
He smiles.
"Wonderful! You are subscribed to the Organizing for Action mailing list! Would you like a plan now?"
>YES
You must provide your identification information first.
You are very, very hungry.
It is now the next day.
>give information
Oops!
Your information was eaten by a grue.
Try again?
>YES
Oops!
Your information was given to an identity thief.
Try again?
>YES
Hooray!
You have successfully given your information.
Also, you apparently bought a brand new Tesla somewhere in Russia.
>get plan
Hooray!
You are about to get a plan!
Are you excited about your plan? It was chosen just for you.
>y
Here is your plan.
Get ready.
It's almost here.
Ready?
Ready??
>YESYESYESYESYESYESYES
Pay 1,200 credits to get plan.
>examine credits
You have 200 credits.
Would you like to earn more credits?
>Y
Welcome to http://PartTimeEmployeeFinder.gov (http://PartTimeEmployeeFinder.gov) !
Your only job-search and employment portal for the New Vibrant American Economy!
Would you like a job?
>Y
Please complete the application form.
>give information to form
Oops!
Your information was eaten by a grue.
Try again?
>give information to form
Oops!
Your information was given to the IRS.
Try again?
>Y
Hooray!
Your information is on file.
You may have JOB in 6-9 months.
>go back
Oh, there's no going back from this.
But we know what you mean.
Hang on.
>.
You have a new item in your inventory!
Would you like to look at it?
>n
>go back
Are you sure? It could be JOB or HEALTH PLAN.
>okay sure inventory
Your inventory contains:
IRS AUDIT, YOU FILTHY BACK-GOING TEABAGGER
>drop audit
You can not drop IRS AUDIT, YOU FILTHY BACK-GOING TEABAGGER.
>lean forward
Oh! We are so sorry, Mr. Matthews!
We did not realize it was you.
You have dropped IRS AUDIT, YOU FILTHY TEABAGGER.
>go forward
You see a dizzying array of health insurance plans of all shapes and sizes.
You see President Barack Obama.
>get plan please I am so hungry
Pay 1,200 credits to get plan.
>get subsidy
You must give your personal information to get subsidy.
>n
Are you sure?
It is a big subsidy.
It is a 1,200 credit subsidy.
>give information
HA!
Fooled you.
You must give your information in Sanskrit to get subsidy.
Also, dance for us.
>give information in sanskrit
>dance
There is more at this link. (http://storify.com/NathanWurtzel/jimmiebjr-zorkifies-healthcare-gov?utm_source=t.co&awesm=sfy.co_gUB3&utm_medium=sfy.co-twitter&utm_content=storify-pingback&utm_campaign=)
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Shoot computer now?
>YESYESYES
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::hysterical::
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That goes to show ya that some people have WAY too much time on their hands. Another by-product of the Obama(part-time)Economy.
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From what I've read, the tech behind the website is as old as this game.
::laughonfloor::
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Yeah when you load the page you get
GW BASIC 2.11
(C) Copyright Microsoft 1983,1984
60300 Bytes free
Ok
WELCOME TO OBAMACARE(TM)!
PLEASE INSERT 360KB FLOPPY INTO A: AND PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE
ERROR LINE 237 -- THATS RACIST
?Redo from start
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Yeah when you load the page you get
GW BASIC 2.11
(C) Copyright Microsoft 1983,1984
60300 Bytes free
Ok
WELCOME TO OBAMACARE(TM)!
PLEASE INSERT 360KB FLOPPY INTO A: AND PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE
ERROR LINE 237 -- THATS RACIST
?Redo from start
::laughonfloor::
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That goes to show ya that some people have WAY too much time on their hands. Another by-product of the Obama(part-time)Economy.
I think that he did it while on hold with the 800 number.
The theme, obviously, is that the website was built with old tech and that is being illustrated with a "what happens next" text game from the 1970s.
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Yeah when you load the page you get
GW BASIC 2.11
(C) Copyright Microsoft 1983,1984
60300 Bytes free
Ok
WELCOME TO OBAMACARE(TM)!
PLEASE INSERT 360KB FLOPPY INTO A: AND PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE
ERROR LINE 237 -- THATS RACIST
?Redo from start
That's funny, I don't care who ya are. ::hysterical::
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From what I've read, the tech behind the website is as old as this game.
::laughonfloor::
Not sure who I heard say this, but the gist of the comment was, 'The website is a fiasco. And now they are going to hire more people to fix it when any 10-year-old could have built a better website in half a day.'
That was before I found out that a Mooch crony (a Princeton classmate) had the contract for constructing the website. So basically, The Unaffordable Health Insurance and Patient Denied Care Act website is a failure because of affirmative action.
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I don't think it was ever supposed to work. It was meant to Cloward-Piven the system.