Topic: Favorite Blonde jokes

[ChrstnHsbndFthr]

A favorite genre:

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain replied "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?" Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."

[BigAlSouth]

My niece, not a blonde, posted on her FB account that she found some great beer for those suffering from Celiac Disease. The American "Pale Ale" is referred to a Blonde Beer.

I posted: Hey! A great marketing slogan for the beer: Blonde Beer; when drinking regular beer just won't make you act stupid enough!

[warpmine]

My niece, not a blonde, posted on her FB account that she found some great beer for those suffering from Celiac Disease. The American "Pale Ale" is referred to a Blonde Beer.

I posted: Hey! A great marketing slogan for the beer: Blonde Beer; when drinking regular beer just won't make you act stupid enough!

[fordguy_85]

The best part about blond jokes, is that you know it's a true story to someone 

[AmericanPatriot]

I resemble that remark!

[Pandora]

What do ya call a brunette between two blondes?

[oldcoastie6468]

OK. Youse guys opened this up.

What do you call an eternity?
Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left," so they turned around and went home.

What do SMART Blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, Daddy...Doughnut seeds.

Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!

What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!

How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
There is whiteout all over the monitor.

Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said, "Oh, look at the dead bird."
The Blonde looked skyward and said, "Where, where?"

How do you drown a Blonde?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look!  They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her joke on Wednesday.

[ChrstnHsbndFthr]

What do ya call a brunette between two blondes?

A translator?

[Pandora]

What do ya call a brunette between two blondes?

A translator?

More or less.  Interpreter.

[Libertas]

What do ya call a brunette between two blondes?

The smart one?

[ChrstnHsbndFthr]

How can you tell a blonde's been using your computer?

V


V


V

V

V


There's white out on the screen.

[Libertas]

 Two young blonde women are sitting at a bar in such an obviously celebratory mood that the bartender drifts over intending to offer them a drink on the house. When he gets close he hears one say to the other "Here's to 17 days!"

Smiling, the bartender says, "Congratulations! What's so special about 17 days?"

Eyes twinkling, one of the women explains, "Well, we've been spending our evenings working on a jigsaw puzzle! And it said 3-5 years on the box, but we finished it in only 17 days!"



 A blonde called the fire department. She screams into the phone.

"Hurry, Come Quick! My house is on fire."

The fire chief replied, "OK, but how do we get to your house?"

The blond said, "Duh, Red Truck!"



Q: What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A: A blonde at a blinking red light.