Topic: "It's A Terrible And Wonderful Thing To Have Your Child Work At Your Shoulder"

[Pandora]

Vid at link you'll want to see.  (Ignore the ad at the end.)

They say no man is a hero to his own valet.

But your children see more of you than any valet. At first you're this mightly giant, a good, long while passes, then you become this semi-inscrutable monument to your past life, likely still at some young man's game when you're past your physical prime. It's not fun to have your son find out you're just a human man, after all. Every man wants his son to be a better man than himself, but how are you going to produce that which you can't manage for yourself?

You would never treat a stranger as badly as you treat your own son when he works with you. I'm crabby and direct with mine. I'm impatient. I'd be polite if it was the neighbor's kid, and not expect nearly as much out of 'em.

My older son has fallen asleep in his supper after a day with me. A badge of honor, surely. Coming and going, I hope.

[AlanS]

From the comments:

Anonymous said...

    My father was an ogre and I feared him more than anything in the world, real or imagined. He would start whipping me and go into a rage and wouldnt stop. The entire time he kept hollering, "Look me in the eye, Look me in the eye"
    To this day I associate looking into someones eyes with punishment. He complained about everything, all the time.
    It wasnt until a counseling session when I was 37 that the fear relaxed. The counselors told us to put our hands on each others shoulders and look at each other and for me to tell him how I felt about him.
    I did it and experienced tunnel vision for the only time in my 63 years

Even though my father was demanding, he was fair and never failed to show he loved me. I have to admit the work ethic he instilled in me has really helped me through the years.

[rustybayonet]

Almost wish I hadn't watched that;  Son, Daughter and one Sister worked for me at one point in their lives.  To the plus side all three have a great work ethic now, are extremely good at their jobs, highly respected by their piers, and I couldn't be prouder, or love them any more.  Son is an Electrical Engineer, Daughter a Teacher, and Sister a Doctor [PhD in Psychology].  So what am I unhappy about -ME -because looking back I know I was extremely tough on all three, more so with them than other employees, almost to the point of unfairness.  In my eyes they had to be 'perfect'; show more initiative, do more, and know more than anyone else working for me, because they were my family.  As an 'old fart' now, I still have thoughts of perfection for the grandkids, but the wife keeps telling me - they are kids, and our kids are their parents.  My folks always taught me "the toughest thing for a parent and/or grandparent to do - was to let go".  How right they were.......

[BigAlSouth]

Rusty, the fact is, you have to be tough on subordinates some time. The real failure is refusing to treat non-family members the same as your family members. I think being tough is good for all when done in a way to bring out the best in your employee. Now, if you're just being mean because basically you're an asshole, then that probably wont fly with the Wage and Hour Bureaucrats . . .