Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 2105 times)

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Offline warpmine

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Joke of the day
« on: May 22, 2011, 09:30:00 PM »
A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA.

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her, um, nether regions.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry woman demanded,"What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm sorry, but due to Obamacare they turned me down."  ::hysterical::
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Offline LadyVirginia

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2011, 09:46:24 PM »
... I'm sorry, but due to Obamacare they turned me down."  ::hysterical::

Funny today. 2014, not so much. ::thinking::
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charlesoakwood

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2011, 09:47:33 PM »

It's in the mail.


Offline Dan

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2011, 01:57:57 PM »
Funny 'cuz it's true.
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist

Offline trapeze

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2011, 04:16:09 PM »
So that was yesterday's joke. Today we got O'Bama and lardass wife getting car stuck at embassy.
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

Offline trapeze

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2011, 10:26:23 PM »
And from the gift that just keeps on giving...



A really stupid movie but now I'm glad they made it.


LINK
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

Offline trapeze

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2011, 10:31:06 PM »
Which begs the question, "What is the opposite of palette cleanser?"
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

Offline LadyVirginia

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2011, 10:32:18 PM »
 ::hysterical::
"And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor."

Offline trapeze

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2011, 10:54:29 PM »
As I said, the gift that just keeps on giving...



It's windy. I get it. Yet everyone else looks dignified. Well, the shoveler looks a little put out but that's normal.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 10:59:50 PM by trapeze »
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

Offline trapeze

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2011, 10:58:29 PM »
And who do you blame (because it's never their fault) when stuff like this happens?

Does Moochelle dress herself? Or does she have a half dozen naked eunuchs who take care of such things?

Because if she does then they probably do everything else for her, too. It could be over two years now since she has had to wipe.
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

Offline Alphabet Soup

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2011, 11:04:04 PM »
As I said, the gift that just keeps on giving...



It's windy. I get it. Yet everyone else looks dignified. Well, the shoveler looks a little put out but that's normal.

Isn't it interesting how there are some people who look (and act) cool, calm, deliberate, and dignified no matter what or where the situation? And then there are the Øbongo's  ::hysterical::

Offline trapeze

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2011, 11:14:11 PM »
I think this might just be part of their plan (along with the bowing and scraping before tyrants) to make America look really, really stupid and lame.
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

charlesoakwood

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2011, 11:17:31 PM »
As I said, the gift that just keeps on giving...



It's windy. I get it. Yet everyone else looks dignified. Well, the shoveler looks a little put out but that's normal.

Isn't it interesting how there are some people who look (and act) cool, calm, deliberate, and dignified no matter what or where the situation? And then there are the Øbongo's  ::hysterical::

 ::hysterical::That's a hoot ::hysterical::

Back in the day, mothers taught their daughters how to handle an awkward situation in a lady like fashion.  One of the things they were taught was where to and not to put their hands and how to handle a situation such as the wind catching her skirt with propriety.

This woman has difficulty keeping her hands off herself.




Offline Predator Don

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2011, 11:19:38 PM »
I think this might just be part of their plan (along with the bowing and scraping before tyrants) to make America look really, really stupid and lame.


Both have been a huge success.
I'm not always engulfed in scandals, but when I am, I make sure I blame others.

Offline trapeze

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2011, 11:20:58 PM »
Yeah, but remember...she has great arms.

The article tells of how the queen's dressmakers sew small weights into the hem of her dress to prevent such occurrences.

Moochelle assumes the wind wouldn't dare interfere with her appearance.
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

Offline Predator Don

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2011, 11:21:57 PM »
As I said, the gift that just keeps on giving...



It's windy. I get it. Yet everyone else looks dignified. Well, the shoveler looks a little put out but that's normal.

Isn't it interesting how there are some people who look (and act) cool, calm, deliberate, and dignified no matter what or where the situation? And then there are the Øbongo's  ::hysterical::

 ::hysterical::That's a hoot ::hysterical::

Back in the day, mothers taught their daughters how to handle an awkward situation in a lady like fashion.  One of the things they were taught was where to and not to put their hands and how to handle a situation such as the wind catching her skirt with propriety.

This woman has difficulty keeping her hands off herself.






Holding her crotch and, apparantly, picking bugs out of her hair. What other species does this?
I'm not always engulfed in scandals, but when I am, I make sure I blame others.

Offline trapeze

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #16 on: May 24, 2011, 11:57:22 PM »
The same species that throws poo.
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

Offline trapeze

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #17 on: May 25, 2011, 12:04:14 AM »
Then he totally flubs the toast to the queen. Is it a continuation of his ongoing finger in the eye of the British? Or is he just clumsy and stupid?

LINK

Honestly...they thought GWB was an unsophisticated oaf?
In a doomsday scenario, hippies will be among the first casualties. So not everything about doomsday will be bad.

charlesoakwood

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #18 on: May 25, 2011, 12:07:14 AM »

Quote
Then he totally flubs the toast to the queen. Is it a continuation of his ongoing finger in the eye of the British? Or is he just clumsy and stupid?

Is this a trick question?


Offline Alphabet Soup

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #19 on: May 25, 2011, 12:20:34 AM »
Speaking of the Joke~in~Chief, I didn't see if anyone else commented on Øbongo's departure from reality (again) when he signed the guest register at Westminster Abbey:




Uhm, Øbongo - it's 2011 dude...