Author Topic: life and dogs  (Read 879 times)

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Offline Predator Don

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life and dogs
« on: October 26, 2011, 05:34:43 PM »
On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.  For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.  How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.  For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
 
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years?  That's a pretty long time to perform.  How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.  For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.  How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.  For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years?  Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.  For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.  For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.  And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.  I'm doing it as a public service.  If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

 

 




I'm not always engulfed in scandals, but when I am, I make sure I blame others.

Online IronDioPriest

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Re: life and dogs
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2011, 06:00:10 PM »
 ::beertoast:: ::hysterical::
"A strict observance of the written laws is doubtless one of the high duties of a good citizen, but it is not the highest. The laws of necessity, of self-preservation, of saving our country when in danger, are of higher obligation. To lose our country by a scrupulous adherence to written law, would be to lose the law itself, with life, liberty, property and all those who are enjoying them with us; thus absurdly sacrificing the end to the means."

- Thomas Jefferson

charlesoakwood

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Re: life and dogs
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2011, 06:53:13 PM »
 
::thumbsup::


Online Pandora

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Re: life and dogs
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2011, 07:13:22 PM »
Quote
If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

Woof.
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

"Let us assume for the moment everything you say about me is true. That just makes your problem bigger, doesn't it?"

Offline Libertas

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Re: life and dogs
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2011, 07:53:26 PM »
Damn, I'm on the final leg of the slave segment and I already feel like barking!
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.

Offline AlanS

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Re: life and dogs
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2011, 06:09:04 AM »
Damn, I'm on the final leg of the slave segment and I already feel like barking!

Include me in that segment.
"Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem."

Thomas Jefferson