Author Topic: I'm certain we've all heard about ........  (Read 489 times)

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Offline warpmine

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I'm certain we've all heard about ........
« on: September 29, 2012, 05:13:50 PM »
the Obama phone 2.0  updated version from this:
with the following features:
    Unlimited minutes.
    Drop calls only occur when one of the callers passes out from excessive alcohol consumption or a crack induced coma.
    The Face Time app has AMAZING clarity (If sober at time of operation).
    multi person communication can occur if others are within 4.5 feet from one another.
    Never needs to recharged.
    Assorted colors such as Campbell's Soup Red, Ranchero Beans Brown, Kernel Corn Yellow
    Replacement cords come in various colors and can be obtained when dumpster diving for old shoes.
    The banking app is unbelievable as the phone itself operates as the bank

But wait, there's more! Our researchers have compiled the following list of features that distinguish the free ObamaPhone from a regular cell phone:

    It automatically rejects calls from people with a different opinion.
    Every time you take a picture, it produces a grimmer image of America.
    It doesn't have a plan; it just keeps telling you how bad the other guy's plan is.
    When it crashes, it blames your previous phone.
    All 3 AM calls go directly to voicemail.
    It has a really useless app called "Biden."
    Pairing it with another device sucks all the energy out of the other unit.
    Type in "job search" and it gives you directions to the welfare office.
    The navigation feature covers all 57 States.
    The default ringtone for international calls is "I'm sorry, so sorry, please accept my apology."
    The healthcare app downloads and installs itself without your permission.
    When you make a call, a teleprompter pops up to help you speak.
    Restaurant reviews are all written by Michelle Obama.
    There are never any winners on Angry Birds.
    Instagram takes two months to process a photo and you have to fill out 3 PDFs to do so.
    Paypal app is replaced with ReceivePal app.
    You can't find "Jerusalem" on Google maps.
    It turns all your Facebook friends into enemies and all your enemies into friends.
    Don't want to work? There's an app for that, too.
    It automatically bows down to phones made by foreign companies.
    When you watch a YouTube video, a US ambassador gets killed.
    When you dial "home", it calls Kenya.
    As opposed to the iPhone, it's called the mePhone.

« Last Edit: September 29, 2012, 05:18:47 PM by warpmine »
Remember, four boxes keep us free:
The soap box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box.

Offline LadyVirginia

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Re: I'm certain we've all heard about ........
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2012, 05:32:39 PM »
that's fantastic!
"And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor."

Offline Libertas

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Re: I'm certain we've all heard about ........
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2012, 11:19:59 AM »
Damn, scary how realistic that is!
We are now where The Founders were when they faced despotism.