Topic: New On Satellite/Cable: The Banal Channel

[trapeze]

banal 
 
— adj
lacking force or originality; trite; commonplace

I'm only kidding. It's not a new channel.

It's "The Hallmark Channel" Where former "name" actors* go to let their careers wither and die.

Seriously, this channel produces the absolute worst in "original" programming.

It's awful.

Wretched.

I loathe it.

mrs. trapeze, though...she kinda likes it.

The things I put up with...

The Hallmark Channel's "big" show right now is a horrid little number starring Andie McDowell called "Cedar Cove." Let's say that it was your life's work to create the most boring drama to ever grace the airwaves and you succeeded on every level imaginable: Bad acting, insipid writing and bland production values. A total snorefest from beginning to end. If you did this you would still be several orders of magnitude behind "Cedar Cove." There is zero chemistry between the male and female lead. I want them to both die a horrible death. That would at least bring some excitement to the show. Maybe have Somali  terrorists set them on fire in the middle of Main Street. Or have a serial killer bludgeon each supporting character one at a time and frame the male and female lead for the murders. But no. Instead we are treated to nail biting suspense about who is interested in who and what the neighbors might think about it.

I could just barf.

*It's also where total unknowns start their careers and skyrocket directly into the New Jersey dinner theater circuit.

[Pandora]

Don't mind it, comparatively speaking.  There's no promiscuous sex, no murder, mayhem, and no terrorist plots that turn out to be, ah-ha!, non-muslim related.  I'll take banal over "progressive" until I can't and then I just turn it all off.

[trapeze]

Surely you jest. Of course there are progressive themes. That should go without saying.

[IronDioPriest]

I have to say, I'm with Pan. The Hallmark Channel isn't in my regular rotation, but when I've watched it, the programming is family-safe. That counts for something. Might not count for compelling TV watching, but at least somebody is trying. Don't know about the progressive themes, but I know I've seen some very conservative family oriented themes.

For instance, The Love Saga, a 10 DVD set that chronicles several generations of a pioneer family, and how Christ-centered family and marriage were the primary component of their ability to persevere.

Not the most well-acted bit of film ever, but well enough. And the stories and message were beautiful.

[LadyVirginia]

I remember the Hallmark movies when I was a kid.  Ugh.

[ToddF]

I'll also take banal over progressive, also.  Her Hallmark is my "Men Who Blow Things Up, Preferably While in Space."

[RickZ]

I enjoy a Jesse Stone afternoon when Hallmark Movie Channel has a marathon; I've watched them a number of times.  (I even enjoy the Mystery Woman movie series they also show as marathons [with Clarence Williams III, of the original Mod Squad fame; the dude's now 74 years old!]).  I like Tom Sellek (one of the few actors today I do enjoy watching).  Sellek being invited to and attending Reagan's funeral in CA sealed the deal for me.  Don't watch the regular Hallmark Channel; I don't need to by bored by reruns of Golden Girls or watch that twit Betty White.

Like any channel, you have to pick and choose.  Ice Road Truckers?  Ax Men?  Bates Motel?  Inside The Actor's Studio?  Puh-leeze.  I'd rather watch poker reruns or paint drying.

As of now, I no longer have CBS on my Time Warner Cable lineup due to, as claimed by TWC, CBS asking for the moon in recent negotiations; so TWC pulled CBS (which doesn't bother me in the least).  We are temporarily getting the Starz Kids & Family Channel in its slot.  Talk about banal.  And normally you pay extra for that banality.

I don't watch the Hallmark Channel, but you should check out some of the movies on The Hallmark Movie Channel.  You might be surprised.

And can someone explain why Cloo, the supposed mystery channel, has reruns of Happy Days?  What the mystery there?  Will they survive McCarthyism and The Cold War?

As a Happy Days trivia question, without looking it up, can you name Ritchie Cunnnigham's basketball bouncing brother (who was only in the first few episodes)?

I read somewhere that Moran (Joanie Cunningham) never did Happy Days reunion shows.  This pic might explain why.  Talk about life beating the shyt out of you.

[Libertas]

RickZ - "I'd rather watch poker reruns or paint drying."     "Talk about life beating the shyt out of you."   

[trapeze]

I have to say, I'm with Pan. The Hallmark Channel isn't in my regular rotation, but when I've watched it, the programming is family-safe. That counts for something. Might not count for compelling TV watching, but at least somebody is trying. Don't know about the progressive themes, but I know I've seen some very conservative family oriented themes.

I dare you to watch the first three episodes of "Cedar Cove."

[trapeze]

I enjoy a Jesse Stone afternoon when Hallmark Movie Channel has a marathon; I've watched them a number of times. 

I agree that Selleck is great. I also agree that "Jesse Stone" is way above average as a crime drama. If only the Hallmark Channel were capable of producing anything at all of that caliber but, alas...

[RickZ]

I enjoy a Jesse Stone afternoon when Hallmark Movie Channel has a marathon; I've watched them a number of times. 

I agree that Selleck is great. I also agree that "Jesse Stone" is way above average as a crime drama. If only the Hallmark Channel were capable of producing anything at all of that caliber but, alas...

I like that the character has dogs.  The first one he had from California had to be put down and was quite sad.  Then he inherited the golden retriever.  "What are you looking at?"

[trapeze]

I enjoy a Jesse Stone afternoon when Hallmark Movie Channel has a marathon; I've watched them a number of times. 

I agree that Selleck is great. I also agree that "Jesse Stone" is way above average as a crime drama. If only the Hallmark Channel were capable of producing anything at all of that caliber but, alas...

I like that the character has dogs.  The first one he had from California had to be put down and was quite sad.  Then he inherited the golden retriever.  "What are you looking at?"

And by the way, Erin Moran was pretty damned attractive in her late teens to early twenties but somewhere along the line something happened. I don't know if her genetics just ran out of gas or, as is often the case in H'wood, she succumbed to the drugs/alcohol lifestyle. I looked her up with an image search and, yeah, that is about the worst photo available of her but even the other "not as bad" photos are pretty bad. The phrase, "rode hard and put up wet," comes to mind. That photo, in particular, says, "crystal meth," but who knows?

Better to burn out than to fade away/turn to rust, I suppose, for the beautiful people demo.

[trapeze]

For instance, The Love Saga, a 10 DVD set that chronicles several generations of a pioneer family, and how Christ-centered family and marriage were the primary component of their ability to persevere.

Not the most well-acted bit of film ever, but well enough. And the stories and message were beautiful.

mrs. trapeze watched almost all of those...

Love Comes Softly
Love's Enduring Promise
Love's Long Journey
Love's Abiding Joy
Love's Unending Legacy
Love's Unfolding Dream
Love Takes Wing
Love Finds a Home
Love Begins
Love's Everlasting Courage
Love's Christmas Journey

After having watched more than a few of them I told her that a new episode was coming out called "Love's Worn Out House Slippers" and she believed me.

I know, I know...it's family friendly stuff and (in this case) Christian themed, but I have a hard time with the sappy bordering on maudlin stuff.

[RickZ]

Trap, regarding your comment 'being rode hard and put up wet', Moran's only 53 years old (born in 1960)!

I also vote for drug and alcohol abuse.  She's younger than me and I look crappy, just not meth crappy.

[Predator Don]

Trap, regarding your comment 'being rode hard and put up wet', Moran's only 53 years old (born in 1960)!

I also vote for drug and alcohol abuse.  She's younger than me and I look crappy, just not meth crappy.

Hey, Little Richie Cunningham turned into quite the liberal......  The Fonz was a ladies man.... And I believe their favorite saying was "sit on it"....who knows what happened in those Happy Days.

[trapeze]

Trap, regarding your comment 'being rode hard and put up wet', Moran's only 53 years old (born in 1960)!

I also vote for drug and alcohol abuse.  She's younger than me and I look crappy, just not meth crappy.

That phrase is usually applied to horse abuse. Having seen more than a few people who abused meth I can say that if she has it would appear to have been only occasionally.  Real serious meth use, as bad as that one picture is, looks worse.