Topic: Heathers and Social Media

[Weisshaupt]

Vanity Fair on the effects of Porn and Social Media on Teenagers via instapundit.

One comment sums up my overall attitude

harkin

A magazine filled with ads portraying the female form in a wholly unrealistic manner gets concerned that teen females are facing unreal and unhealthy expectations from men?

Really?

The stories are anecdotal, and the writers seemed happy to accept anything these girls or boys said about their sex lives as true. (Would you believe a 16 year old boy if he claimed to have had sex with 30+ women?)  but there is probably a kernel of truth to this.. with Social Media, the Heathers are always there, and always judging. 8 pm at night the mean girls can still be chatting away "behind your back" . Social Media lets you count your followers, giving a teenager a real time metric of how "popular" they are - and "confirmation" they are not popular if they are not.  This article reminded me a lot of reading Odd Girl Out

I always laugh when women pretend that if they ruled the world it would be a good and happy place. Women are vicious - in particular to each other.  Men can fight, get it over with, and then pecking order established, treat each other with respect, even become friends, afterwards. Women? The fight just  never ends.  The article suggests somehow it is the boys pressuring these girls and that social media makes it possible - and I am sure that lewd requests are made over social media that probably wouldn't be made face to face, but really that kind of pressure is not new. Neither is the fact that a girl can become "popular" by putting out. Social media may exacerbate those trends, spreading that news more effectively, but it doesn't create the behavior.  What does is the bloody "everyone gets a ribbon" moral relativism.  These kids simply have no moral compass to guide them. They lack the critical thinking skills to realize that picture of them WILL get out. Or perhaps they realize it but are willing to be called a slut in order to gain popularity.  But Social Media isn't the issue. Porn isn't the issue.

She describes the sex life of the average college kid as “Mad Men sex, boring and ambivalent. They drink like they’re Don Draper to drown out what is really going on with them. Sex is something you’re not to care about. The reason for hooking up is less about pleasure and fun than performance and gossip—it’s being able to update [on social media] about it. Social media is fostering a very unthinking and unfeeling culture. We’re raising our kids to be performers.” And researchers are now seeing an increase in erectile dysfunction among college-age men—related, Freitas believes, to their performance anxiety from watching pornography: “The mainstreaming of porn is tremendously affecting what’s expected of them.” College kids, both male and female, also routinely rate each other’s sexual performance on social media, often derisively, causing anxiety for everyone.

Its cultural rot. That is the issue. And my Daughter is about to enter this world.  I don't really know how to prepare her, other than telling her the truth -- women having random sex with random guys do not feel happy afterwards - they feel used and even more lonely. ( and so do men to a lesser extent)  Really, these on-line histories would have been a boon to me when I was dating.. I could have seen within minutes if this person I just met really  had the emotional maturity and strength to be dating material.  I can only hope I can teach my daughter to use it that way, and see it for what it is. Scared, lonely kids putting on an act to try and make others perceive them as something they are not,and hopefully make her realize that being successful in that endeavor won't make you happy.

[Eupher]

That many teens (81%) plugging away at Twitter or MySpace or whatever it is they're using these days can't be healthy.

Do young men (teens) work on cars any more? Do young women (teens) actually have real, face-to-face friends? Or are these kids completely faceless in a cyberworld?

Seems to me at some point in the game, the cyber thing becomes, well, rather pointless. I'm no shrink or sociologist, but I'd suggest that we humans have to have some real humans with which to interact, if not have relationships.

[Pandora]

That many teens (81%) plugging away at Twitter or MySpace or whatever it is they're using these days can't be healthy.

Do young men (teens) work on cars any more?

Mostly not, I think.  Too much of them are chips and sensors and diagnostic equipment is necessary for that.  Gone are the days when they're proud and happy when they've rebuilt their own carburetors.

Do young women (teens) actually have real, face-to-face friends? Or are these kids completely faceless in a cyberworld?

Seems to me at some point in the game, the cyber thing becomes, well, rather pointless. I'm no shrink or sociologist, but I'd suggest that we humans have to have some real humans with which to interact, if not have relationships.

Oh hell, too many of the adults are that way now.  I made a new acquaintance of one such just recently; when she wasn't speaking to someone at the table, she was engrossed in texting on her cellphone.

Some of my older friends (of ten years) will checkout to check out the incoming on their phones -- texts, photos or calls -- while I/we sit there waiting for them to resume being present.  The calls are becoming rare, though; with the ubiquity of texting, it seems no one wants to actually talk on the phone anymore.  If you don't text, you're pretty much incommunicado.

[IronDioPriest]

That many teens (81%) plugging away at Twitter or MySpace or whatever it is they're using these days can't be healthy.

Do young men (teens) work on cars any more? Do young women (teens) actually have real, face-to-face friends? Or are these kids completely faceless in a cyberworld?

Seems to me at some point in the game, the cyber thing becomes, well, rather pointless. I'm no shrink or sociologist, but I'd suggest that we humans have to have some real humans with which to interact, if not have relationships.

I think it's quite possible that we're watching the slow explosion of a sociological time-bomb. I'll never forget the scene, one day several years ago, when "smart phones" were just becoming the rage. I took my kid to swimming lessons, and sat in the bleachers while the kids swam. I didn't have a smart phone yet, but as I looked around at the few dozen parents who were also waiting, every single one but me had their face in their phone. Not a one was speaking. Not a one was watching their child. Not a one was looking around. No human interaction whatsoever.

Of course, as that particular moment came and went, a parent here or there looked up and around. But for the most part, people looked at the device down in their laps until it was time to leave.

All of them lived life another way, until that technology came to them. But kids, no. They will never know another way of life, unless things crash and their smart-phones are rendered useless. In which case, how will they cope with human interaction?

I just don't see how society absorbs this paradigm shift in how we interact, without massive repercussions that we cannot even fathom at this point.

[Weisshaupt]

Oh hell, too many of the adults are that way now.  I made a new acquaintance of one such just recently; when she wasn't speaking to someone at the table, she was engrossed in texting on her cellphone.

Some of my older friends (of ten years) will checkout to check out the incoming on their phones -- texts, photos or calls -- while I/we sit there waiting for them to resume being present.  The calls are becoming rare, though; with the ubiquity of texting, it seems no one wants to actually talk on the phone anymore.  If you don't text, you're pretty much incommunicado.

I have always waited talking on the phone. Ever since I was little. Heck, I don't even like ordering at the drive through- I would rather go inside.  But I do prefer communicating by email - because it wastes LESS of my time, and gives me a record I can consult if I forget.   But this begin before the Smart phone generation. How many people do you kno who would answer the phone when guests were over? I would let it ring, and guests  would be bothered by it, conditioned that you MUST answer it - especially before widespread use of answering machines.

I took my kid to swimming lessons, and sat in the bleachers while the kids swam. I didn't have a smart phone yet, but as I looked around at the few dozen parents who were also waiting, every single one but me had their face in their phone. Not a one was speaking. Not a one was watching their child. Not a one was looking around. No human interaction whatsoever.

I have done that.. but mostly because the people around me were most likely to be lefties and I wouldn't WANT to know them. Our society is so sick that interacting  with others is more likely to be unhealthy than healthy. Pretending to libtards that they are good people  to maintain the peace is simply beyond my ability now.  But yeah, it seems you either try to achieve an unnatural isolation for your kids and turn them into the stereotypical home schooled children unable to interact with their peers ( mostly because their peers don't know how to interact at the civilized level you have taught your own children)  or you expose them to the rot and hope you have inoculated them against it well enough.

[Eupher]

That many teens (81%) plugging away at Twitter or MySpace or whatever it is they're using these days can't be healthy.

Do young men (teens) work on cars any more? Do young women (teens) actually have real, face-to-face friends? Or are these kids completely faceless in a cyberworld?

Seems to me at some point in the game, the cyber thing becomes, well, rather pointless. I'm no shrink or sociologist, but I'd suggest that we humans have to have some real humans with which to interact, if not have relationships.

I think it's quite possible that we're watching the slow explosion of a sociological time-bomb. I'll never forget the scene, one day several years ago, when "smart phones" were just becoming the rage. I took my kid to swimming lessons, and sat in the bleachers while the kids swam. I didn't have a smart phone yet, but as I looked around at the few dozen parents who were also waiting, every single one but me had their face in their phone. Not a one was speaking. Not a one was watching their child. Not a one was looking around. No human interaction whatsoever.

Of course, as that particular moment came and went, a parent here or there looked up and around. But for the most part, people looked at the device down in their laps until it was time to leave.

All of them lived life another way, until that technology came to them. But kids, no. They will never know another way of life, unless things crash and their smart-phones are rendered useless. In which case, how will they cope with human interaction?

I just don't see how society absorbs this paradigm shift in how we interact, without massive repercussions that we cannot even fathom at this point.

I think that's the issue that separates me and Mrs E from the rest of the cyberbots. Our phones are relatively dumb.


Mrs. E has a flippy and I have a phone with a touchscreen that can handle my broomstick-sized fingers. You can count on one hand the number of texts I send per month and Mrs E, probably one or two fingers.


Consequently, she and I still look up and interact with people when they enter a room we're in. We talk with people face-to-face. We laugh, and bitch, and whine, and sometimes get teary-eyed.


Maybe she and I are a dying breed. 

[LadyVirginia]

I don't have a smartphone.  My smartphone died.  I got it to see what the hype was about.  When it died I didn't want to get another one (you know how hard that is?) so I swapped out my card and went back to the old one before it.  I will keep it until it dies then I don't know.  I hate the mindset that assumes everyone has a smartphone.  These moms on my kids' teams send out emails at all times of the day assuming you're tied to your phone and will respond asap.  I don't get their emails until I decide to check emails on my laptop and maybe I'll answer then.

I use my answering machine as a screener.  That used to bother my husband until he realized it meant he didn't have to get up answer the phone either.  I never understood the mindset that felt obligated to answer because someone decided to interrupt you at home.

I have specific ringtones for my family and one for everyone else.  If I hear the ones for family I answer (if I can) and if it's the other ring tone I let it go until it's convenient for me to deal with it.

We've filled out kids' days and minds with activities that don't allow for a lot of time on social media.  They use it but they're pretty realistic about it and haven't ever gotten wrapped up in it.

[oldcoastie6468]

Do young men (teens) work on cars any more? No. Do young women (teens) actually have real, face-to-face friends? No. Or are these kids completely faceless in a cyberworld? Yes.

Seems to me at some point in the game, the cyber thing becomes, well, rather pointless. I'm no shrink or sociologist, but I'd suggest that we humans have to have some real humans with which to interact, if not have relationships.

[trapeze]

Hmm...well, as some of you know, I do have a smart phone. I have an iPhone to be specific. And yeah, I am one of those people who look at the thing a lot. What am I doing? Usually, I am interacting with you guys.

And I wouldn't trade my iphone for anything. Not necessarily because of all the stuff that it does but because it is a quality device that will almost certainly last two to three times longer than the free phones that are offered by the cell phone companies. Those things seem like no matter how well you take care of them they are destined to die when your contract runs out in two years. Or less.

And I had no time for Heathers when I was in high school and fortunately most of them did grow out of it as adults. At least the really overt Heather type behavior.