Topic: CW Song Lyrics

[oldcoastie6468]

Get Off the Table, Mabel (the $2 is for the Beer)

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now

I Wish I Were a Woman (So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me)

Saddle Up the Stove, Ma, I'm Riding the Range Tonight

I Thought She Was Out Jogging, But She Was Running Around On Me

I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me

How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me?

Peel Me a Nanner

I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes, As Long as I Have My Plastic Jesus (Sittin' on the Dashboard of My Car)

I Got In at 2 With A 10 And Woke Up at 10 With A 2

If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long

If Love Were Oil, I'd be a Quart Low

Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart was Pure

I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy

If You Feel I Don’t Love You, Feel Again

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him

(Pardon Me) I've Got Someone To Kill

My Give-A-Damn's Busted

I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me

Mama, Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

I've Got Tears in my Ears from Lyin' on my Back in my Bed While I Cry Over You

I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife's Heart

It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long

I Slipped and Fell in Love

Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears

Hair in My Eyes Like a Highland Steer

I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?

If I Had My Life to Live Over, I'd Live Over a Delicatessen

If I Were In Your Shoes, I'd Walk Right Back To Me

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

All My Exes Live in Texas

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy

Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of your Heart?

If the Phone Don't Ring, It's Me Not Calling You Up

All the Guys Who Turn Me On Turn Me Down

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

I Kissed Her on the Lips, and Left Her Behind for You

Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind

Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me

I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It.

I Just Bought a Car From the Guy That Stole My Girl, But the Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal

I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me with A Spade

Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed

[ToddF]

What?  No Cash?

I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.

[RickZ]

A CW song in the making:  "My wife left me, my truck broke down and my dog died.  Sure do miss my dog."

Unfaithful wives, trucks, guns and dogs, the CW Big Four.

[Libertas]

A CW song in the making:  "My wife left me, my truck broke down and my dog died.  Sure do miss my dog."

Unfaithful wives, trucks, guns and dogs, the CW Big Four.

Should be Big Five...you left out booze!   

[oldcoastie6468]

My wife ran away with my best friend. And I miss him.

[RickZ]

My wife ran away with my best friend. And I miss him.

Thanks, but no thanks.

The Most Interesting Man in the World's Opinion on Bromance - Dos Equis

[oldcoastie6468]

Please bypass this heart
She got the ring and I got the finger
You done tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat
You're the reason our kids are so ugly
It took a hell of a man to take my Ann, but it sure didn’t take him long
She ain’t much to see but she looks good through the bottom of a glass
Thank God and Greyhound you’re gone
Don’t cry down my back, Baby, you might rust my spurs
If fingerprints showed up on skin I wonder whose I’d find on you
If you get the feeling I don’t love you, feel again
I’m ashamed to be here but not ashamed enough to leave
I only miss you on the days that end in “Y”
Drop kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life
The worst you ever gave me was the best I ever got
It’s the bottle against the Bible in the battle for Daddy’s soul
It’s commode huggin’ time in the valley
If you want to keep the beer real cold put it next to my ex-wife’s heart
I wouldn't take her to a dog fight, cause I’m afraid she'd wi
I'll marry you tomorrow but let's honeymoon tonight
I liked you better before I knew you so well
I still miss you, baby, but my aim's gettin' better
I'm so miserable without you, it's like having you here

[oldcoastie6468]

If my nose were full of nickels, I'd blow it all on you
Do you love as good as you look?
Here's a quarter, call someone who cares
I changed her oil, she changed my life
I fell in a pile of you and got love all over me
I wanna whip your cow
I would have wrote you a letter, but I couldn't spell yuck!
I'm just a bug on the windshield of life
I've got the hungries for your love and I’m waiting in your welfare line
If love were oil, I’d be a quart low
If the phone don't ring, baby, you'll know it's me
If you don't leave me alone, I’ll go and find someone who will
If you leave me, can I come too?
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose
My every day silver is plastic
My John Deere was breaking your field, while your Dear John was breaking my heart
Oh, I’ve got hair oil on my ears and my glasses are slipping down, but baby I can see through you
Pardon me, I’ve got someone to kill
She made toothpicks out of the timber of my heart
She's got freckles on her, but she's pretty
They may put me in prison, but they can't stop my face from breakin' out
Velcro arms, Teflon heart
When you leave walk out backwards, so I’ll think you're walking in
You can't have your Kate and Edith too
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
She got the gold mine and I got the shaft

[ToddF]

Don't cut any wood babe, cause I'm comin' home with a load.

 

[ToddF]

The whole song is one big country song lyric...probably because it is a country song...might as well copy/paste the whole thing.

From the backdoor of your life you swept me out dear
In the bread line of your dreams I lost my place
At the table of your love I got the brush off
At the Indianapolis of your heart I lost the race

I’ve been washed down the sink of your conscience
In the theater of your love I lost my part
And now you say you’ve got me out of your conscience
I’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart

In the garbage disposal of you dreams I’ve been ground up dear
On the river of your plans I’m up the creek
Up the elevator of your future I’ve been shafted
On the calendar of your events I’m last week

I’ve been washed down the sink of your conscience
In the theater of your love I lost my part
And now you say you’ve got me out of your conscience
I’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart

[Pandora]

My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus.

Not CW, Jimmy Buffet.