Written by another person who gets it .....
"I am a parent. As such, I am deeply saddened by the tragic events that unfolded in Connecticut. Truthfully, I find myself avoiding thinking about all those families who sent their children to school that morning, as if it was just another day. It's just too sad... my mind keeps asking, "What if they didn't tell their child they loved them before the child got on the bus or got dropped off at school?" and "What if the parents were snappy with the kids because the little ones were dragging their feet that morning?" and "What if they didn't have time to read that bedtime story the night before?" It's the little things, you know, that make living so difficult after losing someone close to you. As a parent, I worry about my own children's safety at school, defenseless as they are. And I hold them a little tighter.
I am a teacher. Each day, I report to my classroom filled with children who, though they are not perfect, are MINE when they are with me. Like their parents, I worry for their safety and yes, will bless them out if I see them doing something dangerous. Like their parents, I bandage their little wounds and take their temperature when they don't feel well. Like their parents, I make them wash their hands and wipe their noses and wear coats when they go outside. Like their parents, I dry their tears and try to teach them to be kind to others, but also stand up for themselves. Like their parents, I panic a little when one lags behind or disappears into a bathroom without permission. So many things to take care of in a day, so many little people to tend... but I also have to teach them. And I have to deal with parents who aren't always kind or gracious when their little darlings don't make the right choices at school or don't make the expected grade. And heaven forbid I not post grades on time! As a teacher, I view this tragedy in Connecticut a little differently... I view it more from the teacher perspective. We have drills to practice what to do in these situations, but the reality is that there is only a wooden door with a glass window separating my students from whatever danger awaits them in the halls. I am defenseless. The children are defenseless. And more and more, the crazies of this world are targeting children/schools, probably because we ARE defenseless. Our school recently had one of these drills... as I sat in the dark with my students huddled in a corner of the room, I thought, "Gosh, this is sad. Huddling in the corner is very little protection." And I found myself playing out different scenarios in my mind. What if someone came in the door? How could I stop him? Could I hit him with something? What? Could I hide behind the door and stab him in the neck with a pencil? I know this sounds ridiculous, but this is seriously what went through my mind. I have 23 students in my care and I really can't do more for them than lock a door and push them in a corner. I suppose I would be like that principal in Connecticut who died trying to overtake the gunman. I could not stand there living and allow even one of my students to be shot. I would have to be dead or gravely injured before that could happen. I worry... I worry...
I am a gun owner. I have my very own weapons at home, it's true. I come from a military family. We always had guns. I married a gun-owner. Together we own both handguns and long guns. Yes, many different guns because (as one member posted) different guns have different uses. The only thing our guns have ever killed is an occasional deer and one mean old rooster that attacked my children. Our guns enjoy hanging out in their locked cases. They are hermits, really, rarely making an appearance, except for cleaning and target practice. Most legal guns are like this. I don't really support more gun laws... I mean, meth is illegal but people get it anyway. Making guns illegal will only keep them out of the hands of the good people. The crazies will still get them. My dad used to say "Locking a door is only keeping the honest people out." To me, gun laws are only keeping guns out of the hands of the honest people. This tragedy strikes me differently as a gun owner. First, it definitely makes me want to double-check the security of my weapons. I don't some crazy person getting their hands on my weapons. Also, it makes me worry about knee-jerk legislation coming from such an event.
As a parent, teacher, and gun-owner, I worry about our legislation making schools "gun-free" zones. Like my lock on my door, that only keeps the honest people out. My father, a very knowledgeable, experienced, and responsible gun-owner, when he comes to school to pick up my children, has to leave his weapon at home even to pull into the pick-up line. While I understand that, I worry about the potential for these uninterrupted massacres. Everyone knows there are no resource officers in our elementary schools. Everyone knows it is illegal to bring a weapon onto school grounds. Everyone knows children and teachers (and other school personnel) are completely defenseless. Everyone knows. Most people would never take advantage of that. But a crazy would... And then it's too late. In this recent tragedy, teachers used their bodies to shield children -- what a puny effort, but it was all they could do. And I would do the same. A female principal was killed trying to physically overtake an armed man. Puny effort. Almost laughable, except that it was heroic and tragic and beautiful. One cannot laugh at this woman's attempt to protect the people in her school. It was all she could do. She gave all she could. How sad is that? How sad that we, as educators, are entrusted with these children to teach and protect, yet we have no way to protect them. It sickens me to think how unprotected we are in the schools. Anyone could walk in the front door of any school in the county and wreak this kind of havoc. That's the honest truth. It hasn't happened here... yet. I fear for my children. I fear for my students. I fear for my colleagues. I fear for myself. We are sitting ducks. And yet, Monday morning, I will put a smile on my face, enter my classroom, and teach those children, protecting them as best I can. With my life, if that's all I have...
I leave you with this parting thought: Friday night, I had a dream (I really did!) that a gunman was in my school, but somehow I was legally allowed to have my gun. It was strapped on my person in a shoulder holster. After having my students huddle in the corner, I positioned myself with my weapon to guard the door. When the gunman entered, I shot him. The end."
